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<\/p>\nMost of our training as teachers is centered around working with students. But the biggest occupational hazard can sometimes be the adults! Here are five tips for building relationships and establishing a rapport with your coworkers, principal and other administrators, and your students\u2019 parents:<\/p>\n
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When I was in high school, I worked part time at a daycare. My third week there, I went to a woman I viewed as a friend to complain about how rude another teacher was to me. Her response? \u201cOh, you mean Mrs. Smith? You know that\u2019s my mom<\/em>, right?\u201d I was mortified, and learned\u00a0(though not once and for all) to keep my mouth shut.<\/p>\n When you\u2019re new, you don\u2019t know the interpersonal dynamics of the school system yet, and they can be extremely complex. It takes a lot of quiet observation to learn who is friends with whom, who had a falling out years ago and is still bitter, and so on. \u00a0It also takes awhile to figure out who is genuinely helpful, since almost everyone you meet will be polite initially.<\/p>\n Remind yourself that you\u2019re still figuring out who has a big mouth or big connections, and be careful about saying anything negative or revealing too much personal information. We are all supposed to be there \u201cfor the children\u201d, but it\u2019s naive to think that teachers aren\u2019t human too, and the educational system can be just as cutthroat as the business world. Let your motto be, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have something nice to say, don\u2019t say anything at all.\u201d<\/p>\n The whole school does not need to know about your argument with\u00a0a parent\u00a0or the bad behaviors in your classroom. People you don\u2019t know well should see and hear mostly good things about what\u2019s going on in your classroom, because very few people ever get to see for themselves\u2013you will be judged as a good teacher or a bad one based on your reputation. It doesn\u2019t do any good to constantly tell everyone how overwhelmed and exhausted you are.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to establish a\u00a0small<\/em>\u00a0trust-worthy support system.\u00a0My advice is to pick one confidante as your mentor and tell only that person your problems.\u00a0After you\u2019ve been in a school for a few weeks and start to get a feel for your colleagues\u2019 personalities, you can choose someone you feel is trustworthy and confide what you must in him or her. But don\u2019t forget that negativity feeds on itself, and complaining rarely accomplishes anything.\u00a0 Every workplace has a person who never has anything good to say about anything, and being that person (or around that person) will cause you to burn out, so try to keep the majority of your conversations focused on productive topics.<\/p>\n If your principal asks you to do something that is too much for you to handle or goes against what you believe is appropriate for your class, think very carefully about how to handle the situation. Sometimes your best option is to nod your head and then \u201cclose your door and teach\u201d, as the saying goes. If you openly resist every mandate that is passed down, you will be unhappy a lot and viewed as difficult.\u00a0 Speak up only on the things that you MUST.<\/p>\n I usually tried see my principal no more than\u00a0once or twice a year, at most,\u00a0with problems. When I saw him or her in the hallway or in meetings, I tried to be cheerful, friendly, and positive (rather than answering questions like \u201cHow are you?\u201d with a joking \u201cUghh\u2013how many more days left before break?\u201d) My hope was that this gave me the reputation of being easygoing and cooperative. Then, when something was really bothering me, my principal was much more likely to take me seriously because she or he knew that I didn\u2019t complain about much.<\/p>\n As a new teacher, I was repeatedly advised to do just the opposite: I was told to draw a firm line in the sand with students\u2019 parents and let them know I called the shots and knew what was best because I was the expert. Over the years, I realized that was not the type of relationship I wanted to foster.\u00a0Most of the time, parents and teachers want the same thing\u2013what\u2019s best for the child\u2013so if you approach conflicts with that mindset, it\u2019s much easier to find a solution. Even when I\u2019m unable to accomodate parents\u2019 requests, I try to make sure they end the discussion with the feeling that they were heard and their opinions were validated.<\/p>\n Do everything you can to contribute to a good working relationship with your students\u2019 parents\u2013thinking that you don\u2019t have the time or energy to do this is really shooting yourself in the foot.\u00a0Learn which parents want updates on everything, and be sure to keep them in the loop as much as possible. \u00a0If you know you are going to get a phone call later about something, head them off at the pass with a note or phone call to explain your side of the story before any misunderstandings occur. Show grace to parents who are less involved and be kind and welcoming when they do make an effort to support their kids\u2019 education.<\/p>\n And as a side note: come to terms with the fact that you will not be able to please some parents no matter what. \u00a0I used to beat myself up about it, thinking if only I was a better teacher, all the parents would like me. It took me years to figure out that it\u2019s pretty normal for teachers\u00a0have at least one parent every year who cusses at them, or goes over their head to the principal, or disrespects them in a myriad of subtle or not-so-subtle ways. Be prepared and don\u2019t take it personally! This happens to EVERY teacher, whether or not they tell the world about it (remember\u00a0tip #2?) Do your best and remind yourself\u2013it\u2019s only for ten months. You can handle anything for ten months.<\/p>\n I kept horrible records my first year of teaching, which resulted in several uncomfortable parent confrontations, insufficient anecdotes during special ed referral meetings, and constant self-questioning as I tried to remember little details about every aspect of my job.\u00a0 I learned to keep a file on each child in my classroom and put EVERY note from home inside, even the\u00a0insignificant ones\u00a0like early dismissal notifications.\u00a0I tried to type my responses to parents so I could keep a copy for my files. And whenever\u00a0approaching a potentially controversial subject (such as grades, attendance, or behavior), I sent a copy of the note to my principal to initial first.\u00a0 This way, the note held more weight with the parent, and if the parent decided to go over my head about it anyway, I knew I was in the clear because the principal already had a heads up .<\/p>\n Keeping detailed lesson plans is more important in some schools than in others, but I think it\u2019s safe to say that every teacher should be familiar with the learning standards and feel confident about the evidence that his or her lessons are aligned with them. It\u2019s also good to have a paper trail for your differentiation methods: reading group lessons, above-grade-level student contracts for independent study, anecdotal records for kids with IEPs, etc. Talk with a colleague you respect about how these types of documentation are handled in your school and what you can do to make it easier on yourself.<\/p>\n Documentation for students learning is important, too. Have students fill out missing work forms to\u00a0justify your homework and classwork grades\u2013you will be able to show parents\u00a0exactly what was not done, when, and why, in the child\u2019s own words. Photocopy low test scores and poor\/ incomplete classwork samples\u00a0before sending them home for students that you think will\u00a0get\u00a0below a C on their report cards, just in case the evidence \u201cdisappears\u201d between school and home. Be sure to send out progress reports midway into the quarter so parents aren\u2019t shocked and have time to intervene\u2013there\u2019s nothing worse than a parent finding out their child is failing after<\/em> it\u2019s too late to do anything about it.\u00a0Keep your documentation through the following school year in case the next teacher needs them or a liability issue arises (you never know what you will be held accountable for, or when.)<\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to stress out about documentation, just get in the routine of keeping good records.\u00a0 Refrain from making comments such as, \u201cMy desk is always such a mess\u201d and \u201cI can never find anything\u201d, and really have your stuff together for parents at Back to School Night\u2013you will develop a reputation for being well-organized and people will be far less likely to question you.<\/p>\n What are your thoughts\u2013is my advice too jaded or cynical? What do you wish someone had someone had told YOU about getting along with colleagues, administrators, and parents\u00a0when you were new to teaching?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n2. Don\u2019t speak negatively about yourself, either.<\/h3>\n
3. Pick your battles with administration.<\/h3>\n
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4. Accomodate students\u2019 parents as much as possible.<\/h3>\n
5. Document E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.<\/h3>\n
My Favorite Teacher Inspiration on Pinterest<\/h3>\n
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