My school offers term-long dialectical behavior therapy<\/b><\/a> classes and advisory groups as part of our tiered interventions for mental health. The classes are all co-taught with a social worker and a teacher. I co-lead an advisory group for students who do not have the availability to take the class, are unsure if the class is for them, or have already taken the class and want ongoing support.<\/p>\n Instructional coach and consultant Elena Aguilar writes about her Mind the Gap strategy in her book Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators<\/b><\/a>. Aguilar outlines six gaps that create resistance in people \u2014 limitations that keep them from their desired results. These 6 gaps are:<\/p>\n In my opening conversations, I am curious to see what gap students are willing to say is creating their results. Often, the first thing they state is perhaps the safest plausible answer, which may be accurate, but they also may not know or may be unwilling to ascribe their results to less \u201csafe\u201d topics.<\/p>\n Students will often blame capacity (I don\u2019t have\u2026) or will (I don\u2019t feel like\u2026). Skill and knowledge gaps can feel more threatening. Often, they are unable to articulate how cultural barriers or emotional regulation are impacting their success. I honor this process and validate a student\u2019s reasoning by taking it seriously. This is how I build trust. We can open up other possibilities as we continue to work together.<\/p>\n Here is how the conversation sounds:<\/p>\n I\u2019m noticing <\/i>(objective result \u2014 like late to class 18 times or failing 3 classes). <\/i>What do you think is causing that to happen?<\/i><\/p>\n As the students talk, I am seeking to validate what they say. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers 6 levels of validation<\/b><\/a>:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I don\u2019t use all six at once. I always use the first one and then select others based on what the student says and how well we know each other.<\/p>\n If they say they have no idea what is causing their results, I suggest a list of answers that relate to Mind The Gap but also normalize their experience:<\/p>\n Some things that students commonly say are<\/i><\/p>\n This list can be adapted, depending on a student\u2019s age or language abilities, as well as what particular topic you are discussing.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/coaching-models-guide-difficult-conversations-tall-1-333x500.jpg\")
<\/p>\nStart by identifying the gaps that are creating resistance; then choose a coaching model<\/h2>\n
\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/onward-elena-aguilar-book-cover.jpg\")
<\/p>\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/6-levels-of-validation-j-brinkmeyer-282x500.png\")
<\/p>\n\n