{"id":152783,"date":"2025-11-02T12:00:02","date_gmt":"2025-11-02T17:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/?post_type=podcasts&#038;p=152783"},"modified":"2025-10-31T22:07:29","modified_gmt":"2025-11-01T02:07:29","slug":"restorative-practices-in-the-classroom-arent-a-strategy-theyre-a-way-of-being","status":"publish","type":"podcasts","link":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/restorative-practices-in-the-classroom-arent-a-strategy-theyre-a-way-of-being\/","title":{"rendered":"Restorative practices aren\u2019t a strategy. They\u2019re a way of being."},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 data-start=\"206\" data-end=\"568\">Restorative justice has gained popularity in schools\u2014but it\u2019s often misunderstood, misapplied, or implemented without the deep work required to make it meaningful.<\/h3>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"206\" data-end=\"568\">In this powerful conversation, Marisol Revucha shares why so many educators feel disillusioned with restorative practices and what needs to shift for true transformation to occur.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"94\" data-end=\"496\">Marisol Quevedo Rerucha is the author of <em data-start=\"139\" data-end=\"184\">Beyond the Surface of Restorative Practices<\/em> and the CEO of Heartset Consulting Group. A former teacher, principal, and district leader, she now supports individuals, communities, and systems in building high-trust, equity-centered spaces. Marisol leads with authenticity and vulnerability, helping others create cultures of connection, voice, and healing.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"570\" data-end=\"949\">Together, Marisol and I explore what a <em data-start=\"588\" data-end=\"614\">restorative way of being<\/em> looks like, how to build a classroom culture rooted in belonging and accountability, and why self-compassion is a foundational part of this work. Marisol also shares her personal story of healing, offers real classroom examples, and closes with an unforgettable metaphor about facing life\u2019s hardest moments with courage and community.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"951\" data-end=\"1218\">Whether your school is fully immersed in restorative practices or you\u2019re just starting to explore what it means, this conversation offers both heart and strategy. You\u2019ll walk away with a clearer vision for what\u2019s possible\u2014not just for your students, but for yourself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1241\"><strong data-start=\"1220\" data-end=\"1239\">Topics include:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1549\">\n<li data-start=\"1242\" data-end=\"1292\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1292\">Why restorative justice often fails in schools<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1348\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1295\" data-end=\"1348\">How to build a culture of repair and accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1349\" data-end=\"1400\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1351\" data-end=\"1400\">The role of self-compassion in restorative work<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1401\" data-end=\"1446\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1403\" data-end=\"1446\">Real-time responses when students act out<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1447\" data-end=\"1500\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1449\" data-end=\"1500\">Restorative practices for staff\u2014not just students<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1501\" data-end=\"1549\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1503\" data-end=\"1549\">\u201cBeing the buffalo\u201d: facing the storm together<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-153313 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Restorative-practices-arent-a-strategy-instagram-400x500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Restorative-practices-arent-a-strategy-instagram-400x500.jpg 400w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Restorative-practices-arent-a-strategy-instagram-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Restorative-practices-arent-a-strategy-instagram-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Restorative-practices-arent-a-strategy-instagram.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Listen to episode 337 below,<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>or subscribe in your podcast app<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" title=\"Libsyn Player\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/38842740\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/672c5b\/\" width=\"500\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"> <\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"> <\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">Sponsored by <a href=\"https:\/\/miatiagobooks.com\/\">Mia and Tiago Books<\/a><\/h5>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3068\" data-end=\"3174\"><strong data-start=\"3084\" data-end=\"3174\">Why Restorative Justice Fails in Schools: It\u2019s Not Just a Strategy\u2014It\u2019s a Way of Being<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"874\" data-end=\"1188\"><strong>ANGELA: Marisol, let\u2019s start by talking about the elephant in the room. Restorative justice has gotten a bad reputation in some circles. There are teachers who have given up on it, and schools that have decided, \u201cThis doesn\u2019t work. We\u2019re going back to punitive methods of discipline.\u201d Why do you think that is?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1190\" data-end=\"1386\">MARISOL: Because we see it as just another thing to do. We treat it like a training we attended, a set of protocols from a book we read. What we\u2019re not doing is embracing it as a way of being.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1388\" data-end=\"1679\">When you&#8217;re restorative\u2014and this applies to any kind of equity work\u2014you have to <em data-start=\"1468\" data-end=\"1472\">be<\/em> the work. I know the word \u201cequity\u201d is a charged term right now in our country, but if you are truly committed to equity, inclusion, community, belonging, or healing, then being restorative is a way of life.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1681\" data-end=\"2114\">It got a lot of hype at first because, like we often do in education, we saw it as a silver bullet. That magical fix that\u2019s going to solve everything. Fix the kids. Fix the culture. But restorative work has failed in many places because we viewed it as something external\u2014&#8221;That\u2019s the restorative classroom,&#8221; &#8220;That\u2019s the restorative teacher,&#8221; &#8220;That\u2019s the restorative assistant principal&#8221;\u2014instead of making a community-wide commitment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2116\" data-end=\"2344\">We haven\u2019t defined what it really means to <em data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2163\">be<\/em> restorative: believing in relationships, acknowledging that we all bring our full humanity to school each day\u2014our pain, joy, love, and burdens that are sometimes too much to carry.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2346\" data-end=\"2647\">Another big reason implementation fails is because systems\u2014meaning school leadership\u2014tell teachers, who are on the front lines: \u201cGo do this work. Be restorative. Build relationships.\u201d But they don\u2019t give teachers the time, space, or support to do it. And they\u2019re not doing it for the staff themselves.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2791\">The adults in the system need this just as much as the kids. In fact, I believe <em data-start=\"2729\" data-end=\"2734\">all<\/em> workplaces need this\u2014an acknowledgement of our humanity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2793\" data-end=\"3132\">When we build spaces for authentic human connection, when we take off the professional mask, when we are vulnerable and show up as our full selves\u2014that\u2019s when real connection happens. And when you feel connected to your coworkers, you&#8217;re more likely to work through conflict or difficulty. You see them as human beings, not as adversaries.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3134\" data-end=\"3334\">Research shows that high-trust organizations are more productive. But even more than that, people are <em data-start=\"3236\" data-end=\"3245\">happier<\/em> and <em data-start=\"3250\" data-end=\"3261\">healthier<\/em> when their workplace gives them time and space to connect authentically.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3336\" data-end=\"3595\">And that has to come from leadership. The people in charge need to model authenticity. They need to say things like, \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d or \u201cI need help.\u201d We can\u2019t treat restorative work as a checklist item. It\u2019s not something we do. It\u2019s who we are.<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"3336\" data-end=\"3595\">Why Educators Need Restorative Practices Too: Modeling Humanity for Staff and Students<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"93\" data-end=\"563\"><strong>Yes! I really love your point that the staff need this just as much. A lot of times, that\u2019s where I see the resistance. It\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m expected as a teacher to listen to students, help them repair harm, and walk them through all these steps&#8230; but when I mess up? I just get a reprimanding email. Or the entire staff gets scolded for something one person did.\u201d We\u2019re not shown the same level of care and consideration we\u2019re expected to give to our students.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"565\" data-end=\"781\">And it\u2019s not modeled for us, either. This is a school-wide culture shift\u2014it\u2019s not something you <em data-start=\"674\" data-end=\"678\">do<\/em>. It\u2019s not a tool you pull out when there\u2019s a problem. It\u2019s a way of showing up. It\u2019s a way of <em data-start=\"773\" data-end=\"780\">being<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"783\" data-end=\"1021\">Our system wasn\u2019t created for this. The world we live in wasn\u2019t built for restoration, for belonging. And what I\u2019ve come to understand is that in order to truly belong with others, we have to first do the work of belonging with ourselves.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1347\">The reason I know the system wasn\u2019t designed for that is because of how much it divides us. It denies us our humanity. I always say\u2014there are things we were <em data-start=\"1180\" data-end=\"1186\">sold<\/em> that we <em data-start=\"1195\" data-end=\"1203\">bought<\/em>. Maybe it came from society, culture, family, religion&#8230; but these messages, these beliefs we\u2019ve internalized, they deny us our full humanity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1349\" data-end=\"1530\">Here\u2019s one example. And I\u2019ve gotta thank Millennials and Gen Z, because I think they\u2019re helping shift this. But what happens when someone gets emotional at work? When someone cries?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1532\" data-end=\"1559\"><strong>They apologize.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"1848\">Exactly! We apologize for having <em data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1614\">human<\/em> emotions. We\u2019re so conditioned to worry about someone else\u2019s discomfort that we shut down our own expression. But emotion is a gift. Feeling gratitude, feeling joy, sharing tears\u2014that\u2019s <em data-start=\"1801\" data-end=\"1808\">human<\/em>. But our society doesn\u2019t teach us that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1850\" data-end=\"2077\">We\u2019re also taught that when we go to work, we need to put on a \u201cprofessional\u201d mask. Don\u2019t share too much. Don\u2019t let people see your truth. And sometimes, we\u2019ve had that vulnerability used against us. We\u2019ve learned not to trust.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2079\" data-end=\"2325\"><strong>Yes. But when we do that internal work\u2014when we stand in our truth, offer our heart, show up whole\u2014we\u2019re doing it for <em data-start=\"2213\" data-end=\"2217\">us<\/em>. Not for validation. Not to manipulate. We do it because it\u2019s who we are, and we want authentic connection.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2523\">Exactly. When we give from a place of wholeness, when we receive from that place too, we\u2019re not trying to get something out of someone. We\u2019re just being in community with one another.<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2523\">How to create a restorative classroom culture: from just posters to daily practice<\/h3>\n<p data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2523\"><strong>So when we talk about being restorative\u2026 can you paint a picture of what that actually looks like? We\u2019ve talked about how it\u2019s often misapplied\u2014so what <em data-start=\"255\" data-end=\"263\">should<\/em> be happening?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"279\" data-end=\"450\">Well, first of all, our system was created to push people out. It was built to center and benefit a few\u2014on the backs of many. And it convinces us that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"452\" data-end=\"710\">But it marginalizes and harms the very groups it claims to serve. Think about it: students with IEPs, students from the LGBTQ+ community, multilingual learners, undocumented students\u2014these are the groups being pushed out. And we need to actively resist that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"712\" data-end=\"904\">Mother Teresa said, \u201cIf we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.\u201d That\u2019s what restorative work reminds us. The system doesn\u2019t teach us that\u2014but <em data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"899\">we<\/em> can.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"906\" data-end=\"1024\">So I always say: the work needs to be centered on the individual, the community, and the system. All at the same time.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1026\" data-end=\"1138\">It starts by getting crystal clear about our purpose\u2014how we want to be treated, and how we want to treat others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1140\" data-end=\"1432\">My belief\u2014my life\u2019s work\u2014is rooted in the idea that all of us want to be happy, whole, purposeful human beings. We want lives filled with love, joy, connection, adventure\u2014all the good stuff. And when I ask people, \u201cIs that what you want for yourself and for others?\u201d nobody disagrees with me.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1747\">But if we\u2019re <em data-start=\"1447\" data-end=\"1452\">not<\/em> experiencing that kind of life, the tendency is to blame someone else. When really, all we can control is <em data-start=\"1559\" data-end=\"1570\">ourselves<\/em>\u2014how we respond, how we react. That\u2019s where this work begins. That\u2019s the foundation of restorative practice: restoring ourselves first, then our relationships, then our systems.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1749\" data-end=\"1955\">We also have to identify our beliefs. Every school district, nonprofit, university\u2014they all have a mission statement. But do we actually live by them? Do we keep those values present in our daily decisions?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1957\" data-end=\"2190\">Because if we don\u2019t, we\u2019re going to stray. And when that happens, harm follows. So we have to get really clear\u2014first as individuals\u2014on what we believe. What do I believe about myself? What do I believe about children? About humanity?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2192\" data-end=\"2346\">When I\u2019m guiding schools or systems, I always ask: \u201cOkay, you say you believe in kids. But do you believe in your colleagues? Do you believe in <em data-start=\"2336\" data-end=\"2344\">people<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2348\" data-end=\"2513\">Every academic plan, every student support plan, every professional development session\u2014these aren\u2019t just checkboxes. They should be extensions of what we <em data-start=\"2503\" data-end=\"2512\">believe<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2515\" data-end=\"2842\">And if your mission statement says, \u201cWe believe all kids can learn,\u201d but you\u2019ve got a colleague talking about a student like, \u201cThat kid just needs to be kicked out,\u201d then you\u2019re in direct contradiction. That\u2019s harm. So the question is: how do we have a conversation that\u2019s loving, respectful, and centered in our shared values?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2844\" data-end=\"2941\">That\u2019s the work. And it\u2019s work we must do as individuals, in our communities, and in our systems.<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"2844\" data-end=\"2941\">Living as a restorative community<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"211\"><strong>So what does it look like to live as a restorative community?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"213\" data-end=\"418\">It means making a commitment\u2014individually and collectively\u2014to a clear purpose. A shared understanding of what we believe about ourselves, about each other, and about how we want to be treated.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"686\">And clarity is key. A lot of times you\u2019ll see school posters that say things like \u201cBe respectful.\u201d But respect can mean something different to every person. So we need to be <em data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"608\">really clear<\/em> about what that actually looks like, sounds like, and feels like in practice.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"688\" data-end=\"945\">The biggest way relationships get harmed? Communication. So we need to build a shared language\u2014what does respectful communication <em data-start=\"818\" data-end=\"824\">look<\/em> like? How do we repair when we fall short? How do we maintain connection and grace while holding each other accountable?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"947\" data-end=\"1048\">We\u2019re not always going to get it right. We\u2019re human. So we need space for reflection and forgiveness.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1050\" data-end=\"1352\">That\u2019s how you begin to build a restorative culture: by getting clear\u2014first individually, then collectively\u2014about your purpose and values. And then practicing. Holding yourself and others accountable when you veer off course. Using the shared language of your beliefs to come back to what matters most.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1354\" data-end=\"1540\">So instead of ignoring it when someone says something harmful, you can say, \u201cHey, we made a commitment to each other. And what I just heard didn\u2019t align with that. Can we talk about it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1542\" data-end=\"1615\">You approach it with love, dignity, and a sense of shared responsibility.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1803\">Because here\u2019s the thing\u2014if we\u2019re willing to do the individual work <em data-start=\"1685\" data-end=\"1690\">and<\/em> the collective practice, that\u2019s what creates a restorative culture. That\u2019s what a restorative person looks like.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1805\" data-end=\"1978\">It\u2019s not about being perfect. It\u2019s about aspiring to be the best version of ourselves\u2014knowing we\u2019ll fall short sometimes, but committing to keep showing up, again and again.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1980\" data-end=\"2211\">That\u2019s the real work. It\u2019s not just about restorative <em data-start=\"2034\" data-end=\"2045\">processes<\/em>\u2014those are important\u2014but it\u2019s also about how we approach <em data-start=\"2102\" data-end=\"2113\">ourselves<\/em>, how we commit to <em data-start=\"2132\" data-end=\"2144\">each other<\/em>, and how we show up for our <em data-start=\"2173\" data-end=\"2186\">communities<\/em>, including our students.<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"360\">Restorative justice \u2260 no consequences: addressing the biggest misconceptions<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"360\"><strong>That\u2019s the piece I think is missing in a lot of schools\u2014especially in places where educators are starting to give up on the process and feel like it doesn\u2019t work. It\u2019s the <em data-start=\"308\" data-end=\"317\">respect<\/em> and <em data-start=\"322\" data-end=\"338\">accountability<\/em> you\u2019re talking about.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"362\" data-end=\"645\"><strong>Because one of the things I hear a lot from teachers is, \u201cAt our school, restorative justice means there are no consequences. Kids can say or do whatever they want, and the only response is a nice conversation\u2026 then the behavior just keeps getting worse.\u201d How do you respond to that?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"647\" data-end=\"754\">Well\u2026 that\u2019s not restorative culture. That\u2019s not restorative <em data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"732\">anything.<\/em> That\u2019s surface-level.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"842\">Real restorative work is deep. It\u2019s not always hard, but it takes time and commitment.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"994\">One of the core foundations of restorative practices is that we do things <em data-start=\"918\" data-end=\"924\">with<\/em> people\u2014not <em data-start=\"936\" data-end=\"940\">to<\/em> them, not <em data-start=\"951\" data-end=\"956\">for<\/em> them, and not done <em data-start=\"976\" data-end=\"980\">by<\/em> someone else.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"996\" data-end=\"1286\">A big reason implementation fails is that the decision to adopt restorative practices was made <em data-start=\"1091\" data-end=\"1096\">for<\/em> people\u2014not <em data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1114\">with<\/em> them. A district decides, \u201cWe\u2019re going to be a restorative school now,\u201d but they don\u2019t build the capacity or get buy-in. That\u2019s where it goes wrong\u2014right at the beginning.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1288\" data-end=\"1437\">Another issue? We often frame the work through the lens of students only. But this is about <em data-start=\"1380\" data-end=\"1388\">people<\/em>\u2014staff, students, families, the entire community.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1684\">And then what happens? Restorative practices become someone else\u2019s job. We push the responsibility onto a counselor, a dean, or a specialist. And when we do that\u2014when we don\u2019t do the individual work ourselves\u2014it opens the door for manipulation.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1686\" data-end=\"1867\">Let\u2019s be honest: kids are smart. Adults are smart. If people figure out how to say the \u201cright\u201d things to avoid consequences, without real accountability, then the system gets gamed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1869\" data-end=\"1999\">So we have to make a decision: What do we believe about behavior? What do we believe about kids? About consequences? About growth?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2001\" data-end=\"2222\">Because here\u2019s the truth that\u2019s hard for some to say out loud: sometimes what we want as adults is <em data-start=\"2100\" data-end=\"2113\">punishment.<\/em> We want the child to <em data-start=\"2135\" data-end=\"2143\">suffer<\/em> for what they did. And that\u2019s human, right? We\u2019ve all felt that at some point.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2224\" data-end=\"2451\"><strong>Yes. I\u2019ve felt that in my own career\u2014where a student\u2019s behavior felt like a <em data-start=\"2312\" data-end=\"2322\">personal<\/em> offense, and I wanted someone to come down hard on them. I didn\u2019t want restoration. I wanted retribution. How do we unpack that?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2453\" data-end=\"2579\">Honestly, Angela\u2014it\u2019s not just about unpacking that as an <em data-start=\"2524\" data-end=\"2535\">educator.<\/em> It\u2019s about unpacking it as a <em data-start=\"2565\" data-end=\"2578\">human being<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2581\" data-end=\"2700\">Why are we letting ourselves get so triggered by the behavior of a 7-year-old? Or a 10-year-old? Or even a 17-year-old?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2702\" data-end=\"2836\">That\u2019s <em data-start=\"2709\" data-end=\"2714\">our<\/em> work. And that\u2019s the hardest part of all of this. Because it requires looking inward. And not everyone is ready for that.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2838\" data-end=\"3020\">But if we can make a commitment to having grace with ourselves and with others, we can begin to do that work. And once we do, it opens us up to something deeper and more sustainable.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"132\" data-end=\"515\"><strong>So let\u2019s bring this back to the individual classroom. What does it <em data-start=\"211\" data-end=\"217\">look<\/em> like to be restorative? Let\u2019s say it\u2019s an elementary or high school example\u2014like a student just said something disrespectful to a peer. There\u2019s no physical violence, so it\u2019s not a full behavioral referral, but you also can\u2019t just let it slide. What does being restorative look like in that moment?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"517\" data-end=\"816\">First, before you even get to those moments, you\u2019ve got to set the tone and environment in your classroom. One of the most beautiful things I\u2019ve seen is how teachers take time at the beginning of the year to introduce themselves\u2014not just as the authority figure, but as <em data-start=\"800\" data-end=\"816\">a human being.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"818\" data-end=\"1001\">You say, \u201cThis is who I am. This is what I hope we can do together. These are the plans I have. Is there anything I should know about you?\u201d And then\u2014this is the powerful part\u2014you ask:<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1003\" data-end=\"1152\">\u201cDo I have your permission to be your teacher this year?\u201d \u201cDo I have your permission to support you, guide you, and walk with you through this year?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1154\" data-end=\"1381\">And when students say yes, they\u2019re making a <em data-start=\"1198\" data-end=\"1210\">commitment<\/em> to you, just as you are to them. That right there sets the foundation for a restorative relationship. You\u2019re creating a space for their voice and experience from day one.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1383\" data-end=\"1460\">From there, you move into building classroom agreements <em data-start=\"1439\" data-end=\"1449\">together<\/em>. Ask them:<\/p>\n<ul data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1619\">\n<li data-start=\"1462\" data-end=\"1503\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1503\">What do we believe about our classroom?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1504\" data-end=\"1538\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1506\" data-end=\"1538\">What do we believe about school?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1539\" data-end=\"1579\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1541\" data-end=\"1579\">What do we believe about <em data-start=\"1566\" data-end=\"1578\">each other<\/em>?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li data-start=\"1580\" data-end=\"1619\">\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1582\" data-end=\"1619\">What do we believe about <em data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1618\">ourselves<\/em>?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1621\" data-end=\"1693\">Write those beliefs down. Revisit them daily. Practice them. Model them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1695\" data-end=\"1915\">Even in kindergarten, kids can do this. My four-year-old grandson could understand this. The conversations might be shorter, but they\u2019re still powerful. You show them how to say sorry. How to move forward. How to repair.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1917\" data-end=\"2139\">You can even model conflict as a story. Say, \u201cHey everyone, I want to tell you about something that happened to me. I was trying to talk to someone at home and they ignored me. It hurt my feelings. Can we talk about that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2141\" data-end=\"2314\">When something happens in class\u2014like a student being disrespectful\u2014you already have a foundation. You can say, \u201cRemember what we said about how we want to treat each other?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You can also proactively talk about these situations:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cHave you ever been called a name?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHow did that feel?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHave you ever called someone a name?\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWhy did you do it? Were you angry? Were you hurt?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2529\" data-end=\"2652\">Then you acknowledge: this might happen again. We\u2019re human. But what do we want to <em data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2616\">do<\/em> when that happens? What\u2019s our plan?<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"2838\" data-end=\"3020\">What to do when a student acts out: Real-time restorative responses that build trust<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"162\" data-end=\"303\"><strong>So once you\u2019ve laid that foundation, what do you do <em data-start=\"226\" data-end=\"241\">in the moment<\/em>\u2014when a student actually says or does something disrespectful?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"546\">If you\u2019ve built that foundation, then you already have something to refer back to. The student knows what the community expectations are. You can say, \u201cRemember our agreements? That didn\u2019t align with what we said we believe in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"548\" data-end=\"763\">But even if you <em data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"573\">haven\u2019t<\/em> built that foundation yet, or if there\u2019s no existing relationship with the student, there\u2019s still a way to move forward restoratively. That\u2019s where your own commitment to humanity comes in.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"765\" data-end=\"1066\">You might not know this student well. You might feel hurt or disrespected. But you can still say: \u201cI don\u2019t know you, and you don\u2019t know me, but I don\u2019t want to be someone who causes harm to people I don\u2019t know. So I want to check in. Something just happened between us, and I\u2019d like to talk about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1068\" data-end=\"1192\">It\u2019s about being the kind of person who repairs harm\u2014even when the relationship isn\u2019t strong yet. That\u2019s restorative living.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1194\" data-end=\"1517\">And when you\u2019ve set up a proactive culture\u2014where students understand how to name their feelings, recognize when they\u2019re dysregulated, and reflect on their behavior\u2014they\u2019re more likely to be ready for that kind of conversation. They might even initiate it themselves: \u201cYeah, I messed up. Here\u2019s how I want to make it right.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1519\" data-end=\"1681\">The hardest time to repair is when the relationship hasn\u2019t been built yet. But that\u2019s when it matters most. That\u2019s when your <em data-start=\"1644\" data-end=\"1668\">commitment to humanity<\/em> has to lead.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1683\" data-end=\"1888\"><strong>Your point is so powerful\u2014about how much more willing kids are to repair when a relationship is already there. But even if there <em data-start=\"1824\" data-end=\"1831\">isn\u2019t<\/em> one, we can still be someone who models how to repair.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1890\" data-end=\"2117\">Yes. And when harm happens, it\u2019s not just about <em data-start=\"1951\" data-end=\"1960\">talking<\/em> through it\u2014it\u2019s also about <em data-start=\"1988\" data-end=\"1997\">action.<\/em> The conversation helps develop understanding of what the impact was, and also helps uncover the <em data-start=\"2094\" data-end=\"2100\">root<\/em> of the behavior.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2119\" data-end=\"2255\">Because behavior is communication. It always has a function. Is this child seeking attention? Whose attention? Are they expressing pain?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2257\" data-end=\"2403\">When we respond restoratively, we\u2019re not just addressing what happened\u2014we\u2019re gathering <em data-start=\"2344\" data-end=\"2357\">information<\/em> to support that student better in the future.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2534\">But here\u2019s the part we often forget: we have to offer that same grace and patience to <em data-start=\"2491\" data-end=\"2500\">adults.<\/em> To our coworkers. To <em data-start=\"2522\" data-end=\"2534\">ourselves.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2534\">Why self-compassion is the foundation of restorative practice: a personal journey toward worthiness<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"99\" data-end=\"428\"><strong> So how does a teacher begin to practice <em data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"168\">self-compassion<\/em>? That\u2019s something I talk about a lot. Some educators are already far along that journey, but others aren\u2019t sure what it really looks like. What are some recommendations for beginning steps, especially for someone who feels like self-love is a foreign concept?<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"583\">I almost want to say\u2014before we even <em data-start=\"479\" data-end=\"486\">start<\/em> with strategies\u2014I hope people will sit with that question: <em data-start=\"546\" data-end=\"551\">Why<\/em> is it so hard to love yourself?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"585\" data-end=\"694\">Why is it easy to love others, to pour into others, to nurture and encourage everyone else\u2026 but not yourself?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"754\">What were you told? What do you believe about who you are?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"939\">If self-compassion feels hard, it\u2019s because there\u2019s a belief you\u2019ve internalized that says you\u2019re not worthy of it. It\u2019s something you were <em data-start=\"896\" data-end=\"903\">sold,<\/em> and you <em data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"920\">bought<\/em> it. And it\u2019s deep.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"1242\">I\u2019ve been going through what I call a Phoenix moment\u2014burning down and rebuilding. The last two and a half years have been filled with harm. Harm done to me by people I love and cherish the most. And I had to go on a journey of figuring out what it really means to love, care for, and nurture <em data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1242\">myself.<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1449\">I\u2019m still not all the way there. But I\u2019ve realized something core: I\u2019ve done so much work. I\u2019ve been in therapy since 2018. I\u2019ve worked on my ego, my self-esteem, my need to shine, my sense of competition.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1451\" data-end=\"1610\">And I <em data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1463\">knew<\/em> I was a good person. I knew I was worthy. I knew I was impactful. I knew I was loving. I knew I was beautiful. But deep down\u2026 I didn\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1612\" data-end=\"1812\">I had opened myself to love, and when I got hurt, I translated that hurt into \u201cI must not be worthy.\u201d I thought, \u201cIf someone I love\u2014if even my child\u2014can treat me this way, then I must not be lovable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1814\" data-end=\"1861\">It shattered the last remnants of my core self.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"1863\" data-end=\"2121\">And I couldn\u2019t figure out why I didn\u2019t believe in my worth. But I knew I had to commit to <em data-start=\"1953\" data-end=\"1969\">moving through<\/em> that pain. I had to <em data-start=\"1990\" data-end=\"1996\">feel<\/em> the emotions. And I came out understanding that the love I give others\u2014the magic I bring\u2014I have to give it to <em data-start=\"2107\" data-end=\"2115\">myself<\/em>, too.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2123\" data-end=\"2286\">I no longer seek validation outside myself. I no longer seek protection from outside sources. That\u2019s childhood stuff. That comes from not being protected as a kid.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2288\" data-end=\"2539\">So my answer to your question is this: If you\u2019re struggling with self-compassion, start by asking yourself why. Why aren\u2019t you taking care of yourself? Why are you proud of always being \u201cthe strong one\u201d? Why do you put everyone else ahead of yourself?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2541\" data-end=\"2567\">Where is that coming from?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2569\" data-end=\"2828\"><strong>That is so honest and beautiful. And I appreciate that you didn\u2019t give a quick fix. That\u2019s why your book is called <em data-start=\"2696\" data-end=\"2716\">Beyond the Surface<\/em>, right? Because this is deep inner work. It\u2019s not about doing what sounds good. It\u2019s about doing what\u2019s <em data-start=\"2821\" data-end=\"2828\">real.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"3056\">Exactly. We\u2019ve been trained to live on the surface. To say what people want to hear. But that\u2019s not going to get us to joy, health, peace, or purpose. We have to go <em data-start=\"3008\" data-end=\"3016\">beyond<\/em> the surface and into our full humanity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"425\"><strong>The way you\u2019re framing this\u2014blending personal development with professional development\u2014is so important. Because we\u2019re often looking for teaching strategies, or policies, or classroom management tips\u2026 but what really needs to be worked on is <em data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"425\">us.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"427\" data-end=\"681\">Yes. And I\u2019m just so grateful for the opportunity to do this work and to share my story. Because once you begin this inner work, it starts to feel <em data-start=\"588\" data-end=\"594\">less<\/em> scary. You realize: \u201cI <em data-start=\"618\" data-end=\"623\">can<\/em> do this. It\u2019s hard, but it makes everything else easier.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"839\">When you&#8217;re triggered\u2014whether it\u2019s by a student, a coworker, whoever\u2014you have tools. You can recognize: <em data-start=\"787\" data-end=\"839\">Why am I feeling this way? What\u2019s really going on?<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"841\" data-end=\"969\">And you can ask yourself, \u201cWhat is my goal here? Is it connection? Is it repair?\u201d And then choose your next steps based on that.<\/p>\n<h3 data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"3056\">Be the buffalo: Facing the storm with courage, community, and self-worth<\/h3>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2448\" data-end=\"2745\"><strong> Before we close, I want to do what I always do\u2014what I call a \u201ctakeaway truth.\u201d For the teachers listening who really want to have a restorative heart, what\u2019s something you wish everyone understood about what we\u2019ve talked about today?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2747\" data-end=\"2990\">I want everyone to know: <em data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2890\">You are loved. You are worthy of doing this work. You are worthy of being the best version of yourself.<\/em> That journey\u2014toward your fullest, most beautiful self\u2014is also the most painful and the most joyful.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"2992\" data-end=\"3012\">You are <em data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3005\">not<\/em> alone.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3014\" data-end=\"3205\">There\u2019s a metaphor I love, one that was shared with me by a math consultant named Ed Campos from Kings County, California. He told me the difference between cows and buffaloes during a storm.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3207\" data-end=\"3342\">When a storm comes, cows run away from it. But eventually, the storm catches up to them, and they\u2019re running with it, suffering longer.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3344\" data-end=\"3611\">Buffaloes? They run <em data-start=\"3364\" data-end=\"3370\">into<\/em> the storm. They don\u2019t like it. It\u2019s not comfortable. But they run <em data-start=\"3437\" data-end=\"3446\">through<\/em> it, because they instinctively know that\u2019s the fastest way to the other side. That\u2019s where the sun is. That\u2019s where the green pasture is. That\u2019s where the water is.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3613\" data-end=\"3674\">They don\u2019t run from the hard. They go <em data-start=\"3651\" data-end=\"3660\">through<\/em> it together.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3676\" data-end=\"3841\">And that\u2019s what I hope for all of us. That we choose to be the buffalo. Even if we\u2019ve had \u201ccow moments,\u201d we can turn around and decide: I\u2019m going to face this storm.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3843\" data-end=\"3985\">And here\u2019s the part that gave me chills. Right after Ed shared that story, someone asked me, \u201cDo you know where the word <em data-start=\"3964\" data-end=\"3972\">coward<\/em> comes from?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"3987\" data-end=\"4161\">I didn\u2019t know. But I <em data-start=\"4008\" data-end=\"4012\">do<\/em> know\u2014I\u2019m not a coward. I\u2019m not going to run from myself. I\u2019m not going to avoid my own healing. I believe in what\u2019s on the other side of that storm.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"4163\" data-end=\"4341\">And even when it feels dark\u2014even when we can\u2019t <em data-start=\"4210\" data-end=\"4215\">see<\/em> who\u2019s with us\u2014we\u2019re not alone. The people who love us, who\u2019ve walked with us, even those who\u2019ve passed\u2014they\u2019re still with us.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"4343\" data-end=\"4451\">So my takeaway truth?<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"4343\" data-end=\"4451\"><strong data-start=\"4367\" data-end=\"4386\">Be the buffalo.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"4343\" data-end=\"4451\">Face the storm.<\/p>\n<p class=\"\" data-start=\"4343\" data-end=\"4451\">And know: you are loved, and you are worthy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Restorative justice has gained popularity in schools\u2014but it\u2019s often misunderstood, misapplied, or implemented without the deep work required to make it meaningful. In this powerful conversation, Marisol Revucha shares why so many educators feel disillusioned with restorative practices and what needs to shift for true transformation to occur. Marisol Quevedo Rerucha is the author of &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/restorative-practices-in-the-classroom-arent-a-strategy-theyre-a-way-of-being\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":153315,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[2458,10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152783","podcasts","type-podcasts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-equity-resources","category-mindset-motivation","category-truth-for-teachers-podcast"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Truth For Teachers | Restorative practices aren\u2019t a strategy. 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