{"id":153087,"date":"2025-10-05T12:00:34","date_gmt":"2025-10-05T16:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/?post_type=podcasts&#038;p=153087"},"modified":"2025-11-26T23:12:46","modified_gmt":"2025-11-27T04:12:46","slug":"how-teacher-language-shapes-us-and-helps-kids-find-their-wisest-self","status":"publish","type":"podcasts","link":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/how-teacher-language-shapes-us-and-helps-kids-find-their-wisest-self\/","title":{"rendered":"How teacher language shapes us\u2014and teaches kids to find their wisest self"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>\u201cGiving kids, and yourself, language to wrap around the idea that we have an inner leader (our kindest, best self) is transformative.\u201d<\/h3>\n<p class=\"lead\">Join me as I talk with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lilyhowardscott.com\/\">Lily Howard Scott<\/a>, a NYC-based parent, educator, and author, who shares insights from her book <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4mPsni3\"><b>The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language<\/b><\/a><b>.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re exploring how our internal self-talk shapes our perceptions of students and ourselves, and how intentional language can transform classroom culture. Lily shares practical strategies for helping students of all ages:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Notice and separate from their thoughts and feelings (\u201cfeelings as visitors\u201d)<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Understand that they are always <b>good inside<\/b>, even when they make a bad choice<\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\">Access their <b>wisest self<\/b> to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Lily also introduces tools like <b>\u201couter shells and inner swirls\u201d<\/b> to help students notice assumptions and guide interactions in more mindful, empowering ways.<\/p>\n<p>Whether you\u2019re looking to improve classroom culture, support student self-reflection, or strengthen your own teacher mindset, this episode offers actionable strategies and inspiring reminders about the words we choose and the impact they have.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-153272 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/How-teacher-language-shapes-tall-1-333x500.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/How-teacher-language-shapes-tall-1-333x500.jpg 333w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/How-teacher-language-shapes-tall-1-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/How-teacher-language-shapes-tall-1-768x1152.jpg 768w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/How-teacher-language-shapes-tall-1.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Listen to episode 335 below,<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>or subscribe in your podcast app<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" title=\"Libsyn Player\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/38455735\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/672c5b\/\" width=\"500\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; 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width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\"> <\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">Sponsored by <a href=\"https:\/\/listenwise.com\/\">Listenwise<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.understood.org\/en\/podcasts\/the-opportunity-gap\">Opportunity Gap<\/a><\/h5>\n<p data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"399\"><strong data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"397\">ANGELA: So, Lily, we&#8217;re in a time where classroom culture feels more complex than ever. When you use the phrase teacher language, what exactly do you mean? And why do you believe that language is such a vital tool for teachers right now?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"401\" data-end=\"1350\">LILY: When I say teacher language, I mean the way we talk to kids and the way we talk about kids when they can hear us. Many people have said that the way trusted adults talk to kids becomes the way they talk to themselves. Elementary school teachers and early childhood teachers spend so much time with the kids in their care, and the kids are surrounded by so much language: teacher language, peer language.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"401\" data-end=\"1350\">Recent research by Lisa Feldman Barrett, a neuroscientist at Harvard and Northeastern, shows that the words and phrases kids have access to can shape their brains on a cellular level, invite them to create new mental concepts, and transform how they think and feel. Any teacher would probably hope their words matter, but in light of this research, and knowing that kids\u2019 anxiety rates are skyrocketing and perfectionist tendencies are increasing, it\u2019s hopeful to realize that the words we share with kids can matter far more than we realized.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1526\"><strong data-start=\"1352\" data-end=\"1524\">That&#8217;s such a nice framing, because often we&#8217;re looking at the problems in education or society that kids bring. This idea that our words carry real power is important.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1528\" data-end=\"1846\">Yes. It&#8217;s a practical tool we all have, right on the tip of our tongues, something we bring every day. It can trigger a significant shift in the way kids see themselves and navigate challenges. We may not see that shift immediately, but knowing the possibility is there can be empowering for teachers and caregivers.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1848\" data-end=\"2474\"><strong data-start=\"1848\" data-end=\"2472\">Yeah, it is. And that&#8217;s how I felt when I was reading your book. Your book is called <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/4mPsni3\"><b>The Words That Shape Us<\/b><\/a>.\u00a0It was such a positive read because you weave stories with practical tips and examples of things to say. I want to go through a few examples with you. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1848\" data-end=\"2474\"><strong data-start=\"1848\" data-end=\"2472\">One thing you address in the book is how the language teachers use internally shapes our perception of students and ourselves. I&#8217;m really big on self-talk, understanding, and being conscious of it. Not everyone has an inner monologue, but the way we speak to ourselves and narrate our circumstances and students impacts a lot. What are your thoughts on that?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2476\" data-end=\"3700\">First, what a beautiful question, and thank you for noticing this. The book is partly about helping kids express themselves, but a larger part is about how language can nestle within us and transform how we speak to ourselves, whether teacher or student.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2476\" data-end=\"3700\">One of my biggest hopes for the book is normalizing the idea that all brains\u2014teacher brains, student brains\u2014are busy places. We encounter many thoughts and feelings, some useful and rooted in truth, many not.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"2476\" data-end=\"3700\">Our brains scan for threats and try to make sense of our surroundings, and normalizing that for kids (and ourselves) shows that we have more agency than we might think. I call it an inner voice: the truest, wisest part of you. Some kids call it their wisest self. My third-grade student called it her president decider, the leader of her brain.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"2476\" data-end=\"3700\">Giving kids, and yourself, language to wrap around the idea that we have this inner leader, our kindest, best self\u2014what you&#8217;ve called your inner compass\u2014is important. Your president decider or inner voice can push back. For a kid feeling nervous before a math test, that inner voice can gently speak back. Giving words to wrap around that inner agency and loving self-talk is probably my primary goal with this book.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3702\" data-end=\"4151\"><strong data-start=\"3702\" data-end=\"4149\">Yeah, it&#8217;s such a nice mix because what you&#8217;re saying inside comes out. A lot of people don&#8217;t realize that if you&#8217;ve been thinking unkind, judgmental, or uncompassionate thoughts, it comes out in your words, demeanor, and tone. Self-talk really affects how we treat people and how much enjoyment we get from our day. Reframing our mental narrative can increase joy in our interactions rather than telling ourselves stories that aren\u2019t helpful.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4153\" data-end=\"4923\">Yes. The mind can be full of trickery. It&#8217;s helpful and comforting to remember that and to lean into that kind of agency. Often, on stressed-out days\u2014or when a child struggles\u2014they need positive self-talk the most.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4153\" data-end=\"4923\">I remember my student Harper, who coined \u201cpresident decider.\u201d She was a high-achieving, charismatic kid. I assumed her inner life must be easy, but she wrote a poem between her president decider and the pressure she felt to always raise her hand, always show she cares, and always achieve.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4153\" data-end=\"4923\">It reminded me that everybody benefits from learning to talk to themselves with love, on hard days and easy days. Dysregulated anxiety can appear as a behavior issue, while regulated anxiety may masquerade as high achievement. I\u2019ve been thinking about that a lot.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4925\" data-end=\"5196\"><strong data-start=\"4925\" data-end=\"5194\">Let&#8217;s talk about specific examples of teacher language that can be useful. In your book, you introduce outer shells and inner swirls as a tool for noticing and interrupting assumptions. Tell us about that.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5198\" data-end=\"6133\">I love what George Saunders says: we&#8217;re all flawed thinking machines, walking around telling incorrect stories about each other. We see someone\u2019s outer shell\u2014their representative self\u2014and think we know them. We assume they\u2019re not trying hard enough or think they are X, Y, Z. But their inner swirls\u2014the part we can&#8217;t see\u2014remain a mystery. Sometimes they align with the outer shell, sometimes not.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5198\" data-end=\"6133\">Giving kids, or adults, words to understand that our outsides don\u2019t always match our insides, and that understanding someone might require thoughtful questioning, can feel like a relief. Comparison is painful, especially with social media.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5198\" data-end=\"6133\">Kids can map characters\u2019 outer shells and inner swirls. My student Alexis said, \u201cJust because people look calm before a test doesn\u2019t mean they are.\u201d That language helps kids communicate about themselves and challenge assumptions. It\u2019s useful for literacy learning and interpersonal understanding.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6135\" data-end=\"6282\"><strong data-start=\"6135\" data-end=\"6280\">I can see referencing that all year long. Introducing it isn\u2019t just a first-month-of-school activity. Even in February or June, kids need it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6284\" data-end=\"6416\">Absolutely. Every day, I remind myself that when I tell an incorrect story about someone, I can\u2019t actually see their inner swirls.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6418\" data-end=\"6798\"><strong data-start=\"6418\" data-end=\"6796\">Then you can come back to that. For example, the student who was quiet on the rug\u2014her outer shell was quiet, but inside, she had a lot of thinking. In the book, you have examples of student work. I\u2019ll include an image in the blog post so people can see it: a drawing of a person with their outer shell and inner swirls labeled. It was interesting to see what kids put there.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6800\" data-end=\"7169\">Totally. As a third-grade teacher, I longed for practical resources. At the back of the book, there are templates you can leave for kids, send home for homework, or use for characters or historical figures. I\u2019ve seen Alexander Hamilton outer shell and inner swirl maps\u2014creative ways for kids to understand anyone. You can weave this into any aspect of the curriculum.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7171\" data-end=\"7224\"><strong data-start=\"7171\" data-end=\"7222\">Have you seen this done at the secondary level?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7226\" data-end=\"7823\">I have. At that level, it\u2019s important for the teacher to model vulnerability, showing your own outer shell and inner swirls under a document camera. Parker Palmer says it\u2019s never unprofessional; your selfhood is your most powerful teaching tool. Sharing your truth\u2014without going too deep\u2014models that older students can make their maps lightly or deeply. Normalizing emotional availability is critical. Small group sharing works best for older kids, unlike six-year-olds who eagerly share in front of everyone. Sixteen-year-olds are preoccupied with social belonging, so risk-taking feels harder.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7825\" data-end=\"8242\"><strong data-start=\"7825\" data-end=\"8240\">So we have the outer shells and inner swirls. Another thing from the book I loved is how you talk about feelings as visitors. Students learn they are separate from their feelings: this feeling is a visitor, anger is visiting me, sadness is visiting, even joy or contentment. Once they understand that, they can watch and observe their feelings and thoughts. Can you explain more about that and how you teach it?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"8244\" data-end=\"8913\">This visitor language comes from Rumi\u2019s <em data-start=\"8284\" data-end=\"8301\">The Guest House<\/em>: \u201cThis being human is a guest house. Every day a new arrival.\u201d With younger kids, we frame it as, \u201cHave you felt a huge swell of frustration? It feels like an alien inhabiting your body.\u201d That feeling is a visitor. It might seem impossible to go away, but it will.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"8244\" data-end=\"8913\">In class, we call feelings visitors. You might create a word bank or reference feelings of characters in books. This helps kids develop emotional granularity while understanding the impermanence of feelings. When a kid feels anger or inadequacy, they can remember, \u201cThis feeling is visiting me, but it\u2019s not who I am.\u201d This reinforces inner agency.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"8915\" data-end=\"8979\"><strong data-start=\"8915\" data-end=\"8977\">How do you teach kids to watch and observe their thoughts?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"8981\" data-end=\"9534\">I model it myself. Parker Palmer emphasizes the importance of selfhood. If we experience something together\u2014like seeing a snow leopard on a field trip\u2014I might say aloud, \u201cA jolt of joy is visiting me. A little worry is visiting me. That thought is visiting me.\u201d The more I model it, the easier it is for kids.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"8981\" data-end=\"9534\">Sometimes kids inhabit a character in a read-aloud, narrating the visitors in that character\u2019s mind. It exercises the muscle of slowing down and naming thoughts without being personal, making it easier to turn the mirror on themselves later.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"9536\" data-end=\"10144\"><strong data-start=\"9536\" data-end=\"10142\">I also want to talk about parts in the book where you teach students that they are always good inside, even when they make a bad choice. I am delighted to see this in an education book because this worldview helps me be patient, empathetic, and kind to myself and others. We are always good inside. We make bad choices. We have coping mechanisms that are not healthy. We have traumas, triggers, and reactive moments. But we\u2019re still good inside. Dr. Becky Kennedy popularized the Good Inside framework. I would love to hear your thinking on this concept and your experiences introducing it to students.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"10146\" data-end=\"10286\">I\u2019d love to share. But when did you first lean into this idea? Was it a departure from a previously held way of thinking about kids or people?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"878\"><strong>It was during my deconstruction period because I was raised in a pretty extreme version of fundamentalist Christianity, in which I was taught we are all sinful from birth\u2014even babies are sinful. You have to crush their spirits and teach them to obey. We believed that our human instincts are not to be trusted\u2014they are evil. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"878\"><strong>I had a lot of unpacking to do over the years, and I became so much more gentle with myself and with others when I started thinking, <em>No, I feel like in my heart I am a good person, and people around me are good.<\/em> Even people who do really, really bad things\u2014I just don&#8217;t choose to see them as inherently bad, but rather as carrying baggage that keeps them from showing up as their highest, wisest self in childhood.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"1719\">I am very grateful to Dr. Becky Kennedy for popularizing this language. Parents have really internalized it, and it helps them show up for their kids differently.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"1719\">I also have to credit Dr. Ross Greene, who first introduced this idea to me in his extraordinary book, <em data-start=\"1146\" data-end=\"1162\">Lost at School<\/em>. He transformed the way I think about kids, myself, and other people.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"1719\">What he says is simple: kids do well if they can. That contrasts with the more popular idea: kids do well if they want to. The latter assumes the child is not trying and motivates us to bribe, punish, or shame them. But Greene says that every person, for the most part, is doing the best they can with the tools and resources they have.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"1719\">If a child is struggling, it doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re bad or inherently flawed\u2014it means they have a lagging skill, an unmet need, or an unsolved problem.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"1721\" data-end=\"2333\">I remember teaching in Brooklyn at age 23. Every first grader had to be at the top of the yardstick for the clip chart, and if they made a mistake, I was expected to mark them down in front of everyone. That approach\u2014\u201ckids do well if they want\u201d\u2014was shaming. I realized I was shutting down the kids\u2019 cortex and activating their amygdala, making it impossible for them to learn. I only lasted one year there, but I learned a lot.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1721\" data-end=\"2333\">Transitioning to the opposite mindset\u2014believing every kid is inherently good\u2014was transformative. If they struggle, it\u2019s a matter of figuring out what\u2019s hard for them and helping them develop skills or tools.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2954\">I tell kids, \u201cEvery single one of you is good inside, and everyone will struggle at some point this year. And when you do, it might come out as saying something you regret or making a choice you wish you didn\u2019t. But you are always separate from that moment. Your goodness can never go away.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2335\" data-end=\"2954\">Holding on to that belief makes it easier to make better choices, be gentler on ourselves, and embrace tools for growth. We do a \u201chard thing inventory\u201d to identify struggles\u2014executive functioning, transitions, perspective-taking. Separating the hard thing from the child\u2019s goodness makes it easier to see, name, and work on it.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"3212\">I\u2019ve seen Pre-K students respond beautifully to this. If a classmate is called a bully, they might say, \u201cNo, he just made a bad choice.\u201d It\u2019s moving that young kids can be so alert to compassionate language and eager to replace judgment with understanding.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"825\">The other day, a group of students were listening to that Taylor Swift song, <em data-start=\"444\" data-end=\"460\">Miss Americana<\/em>. There\u2019s a lyric like, \u201cThey whisper in the hallway, she\u2019s a bad, bad girl.\u201d And three of them at the same time said, \u201cNobody\u2019s bad. Nobody\u2019s bad. They made bad choices.\u201d I thought, oh, Lord, we\u2019ve created monsters here! They&#8217;re finding this in music! But in a way, I found it so moving that they were so alert to that generalized language and so eager to replace it with something more compassionate.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"1416\"><strong>Years ago, I did prison ministry through my church, first in women\u2019s prisons and eventually in juvenile facilities. And all of them were good people. I feel like I should share that because I know not everyone has this worldview. Some people have been really hurt by others and might think, \u201cThere\u2019s no way THEY are a good person. I can\u2019t even listen; this is making me so angry.\u201d That\u2019s valid. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"1416\"><strong>But in my experience, inside, these were people who would have done better if they could. <\/strong><strong>What they seemed to need more than anything else was someone to speak to that goodness inside them. Someone to believe they could do better, that they were worth something more, that there was real potential inside them. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"1416\"><strong>I literally cannot think of any \u201cbad students.\u201d I had students with very difficult behaviors who made harmful choices, but I never taught a bad student. That was true even before I deconstructed my faith. Speaking to the higher, wiser self in young people\u2014those who were incarcerated or in my classroom\u2014has been powerful. I tell them, \u201cI see your goodness. I see your talents, your intellect, your gifts. I can see all of this amazing stuff inside you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2086\" data-end=\"2650\"><strong>When children see this about themselves, they want to step into it. They realize these \u201cbad choices\u201d don\u2019t define them. Many kids think, \u201cI\u2019ve done this behavior so many times, this is who I am.\u201d When you say, \u201cActually, you\u2019re a good kid, I genuinely like you,\u201d it can be transformative. Many of these children have never felt truly liked if they\u2019ve had behavior problems. Feeling liked, seen, and good inside changes how they behave\u2014they see themselves differently. Believing people are inherently good is one of the most powerful shifts I\u2019ve ever experienced.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2652\" data-end=\"3452\">In the classroom, children absorb what they hear. Imagine a kindergartner who elbows another child. A teacher could say, \u201cYou\u2019re unsafe, back of the line.\u201d Or, \u201cYou\u2019re always good inside; that wasn\u2019t a good choice. Let\u2019s practice using our words.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2652\" data-end=\"3452\">That first instance of language\u2014reminding the child of their inherent goodness\u2014can nestle in their inner life. Later, if a music teacher at the end of the day scolds the child for hurting someone else, the initial message may still repeat in the child\u2019s mind: \u201cEven when I don\u2019t make good choices, I\u2019m good.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2652\" data-end=\"3452\">Even if they hear negative language elsewhere, the impact of consistent, compassionate language cannot be underestimated. Words linger and resurface in surprising ways. Teachers have tremendous power in the language they share with students.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3454\" data-end=\"4278\">Regarding incarcerated women, Robert Sapolsky, a neuroscientist and primatologist, explains in <em data-start=\"3549\" data-end=\"3557\">Behave<\/em> and <em data-start=\"3562\" data-end=\"3574\">Determined<\/em> that children who experience severe trauma develop overactive amygdalas and inhibited prefrontal cortices. The prefrontal cortex helps you do the hard, right thing\u2014like refraining from punching a coworker.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3454\" data-end=\"4278\">Studies show that a large percentage of people who commit violent crimes experienced significant childhood adversity. Their brains were at a disadvantage from the start. Children who receive enough food, care, and responsive love develop better impulse control. Crime is often poor impulse control. Locking someone up forever and saying, \u201cThis was your choice,\u201d ignores the neurological realities. We ascribe free will in situations where brain development and trauma heavily influence behavior.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4280\" data-end=\"4956\"><strong>I recently created my curriculum, <em data-start=\"4314\" data-end=\"4338\">Finding Flow Solutions<\/em>, for K\u201312 learners and just completed the Brain Explorers lessons for K-2. It teaches children to manage time, energy, and attention. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4280\" data-end=\"4956\"><strong>We introduce the wise owl as the prefrontal cortex and the working guard dog as the amygdala. Sometimes the overactive guard dog tries to keep you safe\u2014it barks in fear, and the wise owl flies away because it\u2019s scared. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4280\" data-end=\"4956\"><strong>Teaching kids about their brains helps them understand that their choices aren\u2019t just about willpower or self-discipline. When their amygdala overreacts, the rest of the brain shuts down, and decisions are affected. Separating behavior from identity removes stigma, shame, and guilt, which are not effective motivators.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"1559\">I, first of all, love the wise owl language. Like, that could be just another way to describe your wisest self, right? Or your inner voice, or your president decider. And what a gift to introduce us to somebody who&#8217;s nine, right, whose capacity for neuroplasticity is so remarkable, who\u2019s developing thinking patterns that will stay with her for the rest of her life.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"1559\">In a way, I laugh\u2014why do we all learn this stuff when we&#8217;re 42, as we try to make sense of the path past four decades? We can introduce it to kiddos now and weave it right into literacy instruction and empower that kid with metacognition: O<em>h yeah, this is actually totally normal. I am separate from that thought that makes me want to do X, Y, and Z, <\/em>or <em>That&#8217;s not who I am.<\/em> <em>What would my wise owl say?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"1559\">That, in a way, particularly in this unprecedented moment where AI is about to shift everything, what is school if not a place where we can teach kiddos to be more functional, compassionate, inner- and intra-personally intelligent humans? Given how much else is going to go out the window, it feels like there&#8217;s a real opportunity to just give kids this language early.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"1559\">And anybody can share this language with kiddos\u2014any teacher. It takes about two minutes. Sometimes it&#8217;s the smallest choice in the implicit curriculum can actually trigger the greatest shift for that kiddo.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"2325\"><strong>Let&#8217;s talk more about this wisest self because this is another concept that I don&#8217;t think I have seen in another education book. You can correct me if I&#8217;m wrong. I feel like I have read it in lots of personal development spaces and on those types of podcasts, but I&#8217;m not really hearing it shared with teachers. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1561\" data-end=\"2325\"><strong>I think it&#8217;s super powerful\u2014helping teachers teach students to ask, W<em>hat can your wisest self say back to the other thoughts and feelings that are visiting?<\/em> It&#8217;s so powerful because it&#8217;s a way of teaching students to go beyond just observing the thoughts and feelings, but actually being able to direct and choose which visitors they want to stay, which thoughts and feelings they want to focus on. Say more about the wise self and how that works?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2327\" data-end=\"2511\">Yeah, it&#8217;s funny. I had not actually heard of Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems, when I introduced this to a group of third graders nine years ago. Are you familiar with IFS?<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2513\" data-end=\"2528\"><strong>A little bit.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2530\" data-end=\"3703\">It&#8217;s a wonderful way of thinking about ourselves, where we each have this kind of core self. It&#8217;s like our calm, compassionate, courageous, truest, best self that is the leader of our brain. And then we have these firefighters, these parts of our brains that try to control or perfect. We have these managers, as you said\u2014our brain is always just trying to help us. It&#8217;s trying to help us stay safe, but it doesn&#8217;t always do that in the most helpful way.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2530\" data-end=\"3703\">I had not heard of IFS when I introduced this to my third graders. But what I like about IFS is this idea that your core self, or your wisest self, is always really kind with the feeling visitors or thoughts that it encounters. There&#8217;s no judgment. All these parts of myself, in their own way, are trying to help me.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2530\" data-end=\"3703\">But I think saying to a seven-year-old, you know, we all have these brains that can surprise us\u2014a worry will pop up, a pressure or a fear\u2014and what&#8217;s really interesting is that we get to, with our wisest self, our truest part of ourselves, choose what we want to amplify, what we want to quiet. Isn&#8217;t that cool? Many grownups don&#8217;t realize that they have this kind of internal agency.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"4644\">I remember, Angela, first introducing it to my son when he was four. I called it his inner voice. I said something like, &#8220;You know, I know that you want to play this very dangerous game, but the next time you want to play it, listen to that inner voice\u2014that truly is this part of yourself\u2014and I think you&#8217;ll know what to do.&#8221; Just normalizing that, of course, there&#8217;ll be a part of him that wants to go off and do this, but he has some agency there. He looked at me like I was nuts. My words just bounced off him.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3705\" data-end=\"4644\">A few weeks later, we were reading a book about medieval times. I hadn&#8217;t read the book before; I made the mistake of not previewing it. There was a pretty violent part about jousting. He gets really quiet and says, &#8220;If I was a horse in medieval times and a knight was poking me with spurs so he could joust and hurt another knight, if I was that horse, I wouldn&#8217;t move. I would listen to my inner voice and just eat grass.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4646\" data-end=\"5713\">Moments where all of a sudden my throat constricts and my chest feels like it&#8217;s unraveling, I realized what he had said: when everything seems like it&#8217;s going one way, I actually have another choice. I can listen to this other part of myself or imagine myself as a medieval pacifist horse and do something else. Without those two words, I don&#8217;t think he would have come to that conclusion. The language etched grooves through which his thoughts followed.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4646\" data-end=\"5713\">And I want him, as he is 15, when everybody around him at a party is partaking in some illegal substance, to remember: there&#8217;s probably a part of him, a thought or feeling, that wants to join, but he has this inner agency, this inner voice, this wisest self that gets to make a different choice if he wants to.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4646\" data-end=\"5713\">And I think that&#8217;s the gift of wrapping words around this idea of an inner leader: you introduce it to the kiddo young, and hopefully they hold on to that way of thinking for years to come. For me, it&#8217;s probably been the most powerful language nugget I&#8217;ve shared with kids\u2014they really hold on to it.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5715\" data-end=\"6619\"><strong>Yeah, I think so too. And what I like with the older kids, into upper elementary, middle, and high school, is really thinking about what factors take you away from that. Because, like you mentioned, your highest, wisest self is really kind\u2014kind to yourself and kind to others. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5715\" data-end=\"6619\"><strong>And when I am not kind, it&#8217;s usually because I&#8217;m hungry, I get angry, I need to eat. I have no more grace for anybody else until I get that physical need met. I&#8217;m really tired, haven&#8217;t slept in a while, so I&#8217;m cranky. That&#8217;s another time where my wisest self just takes the backseat because I need to sleep. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5715\" data-end=\"6619\"><strong>Sometimes I&#8217;m distracted\u2014scrolling through my phone while someone is trying to get my attention\u2014and I snap at them. That&#8217;s not my highest wise self. My highest wise self is really kind and wants to be present with the person. My wisest self wanted to put the phone down and listen, fully present, but I was distracted.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6621\" data-end=\"7715\"><strong>So really illuminating those things for kids, talking about it for myself, modeling it, normalizing it: this is not just you. This is a human experience. We all go through these things. Recognizing that doesn&#8217;t make you a bad person. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6621\" data-end=\"7715\"><strong>Even if every time your parent comes in your room and you snap at them, that doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re a nasty kid or have a bad attitude. What it means is: were you hungry? Tired? Distracted? Fighting with your friend? Mind somewhere else? Something pulling you away so that your highest, wisest self can&#8217;t show up. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6621\" data-end=\"7715\"><strong>Our work as humans is to figure out those barriers, become aware of them, communicate about them, and try to do something about it. Often just the communication piece is so powerful: &#8220;You know what, can we come back to this in 10 minutes? I need a break. My head hurts. I need to get a drink of water and stare out the window. Let&#8217;s regroup.&#8221; <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6621\" data-end=\"7715\"><strong>If a kid can say that, it can be a completely different ball game. Even if you can&#8217;t handle the feeling, just identifying it within yourself, communicating about it, and eventually addressing it\u2014that\u2019s the approach.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7717\" data-end=\"8913\">I was marveling at you, just listening to you, being like, this is a raw mini workshop. You just listed some lagging skills and unmet needs that get in the way of making a good choice, which is the whole Greene approach. Instead of asking, &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong with me?&#8221; we can ask, &#8220;What about this is hard for me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"7717\" data-end=\"8913\">You were narrating: T<em>his was hard for me, I was hungry, this thing happened earlier, I was distracted, I couldn&#8217;t be present.<\/em> That language is normalizing. Different things are hard for different people. What&#8217;s hard for you right now? That unlocks a solution.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"7717\" data-end=\"8913\">Telling a kid &#8220;keep trying&#8221; can be toxic if they\u2019re already trying as hard as they can. Instead, asking what feels hard helps separate the hard thing from the child&#8217;s inherent goodness or wisest self.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"7717\" data-end=\"8913\">And with literacy work, Angela, you can weave it right in: this character is making good choices, what is hard for this character? In the back of the book, I have a reading response called &#8220;Character Choice Hard Thing.&#8221; In a good book, there will be some underlying struggle triggering the character to make a poor choice. Analyzing the character that way helps kids understand others compassionately and also understand themselves.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"135\" data-end=\"669\"><strong>Oh, wow. My mind is just racing with possibilities\u2014not just thinking about the tie into books and analyzing through fictional characters, but also in social studies, through historical figures. What was hard about their decisions? What made a call difficult? There are so many ways you could explore this, and I love how much it distancing things with fictional characters. You realize it happens to all of us, and we\u2019re not putting anyone on the spotlight\u2014we can analyze the character through a lens that allows discussion without judgment.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"671\" data-end=\"1282\">Isn\u2019t it funny that the way we talk about characters is usually so judgmental? \u201cWhat are this character\u2019s traits?\u201d Cruel, lazy\u2026 well, okay, we can discuss the character that way. But characters could use a little more from us. Not all of them, of course\u2014there are archetypes\u2014but for older kids, asking, \u201cWhat was uniquely hard for this character?\u201d can be powerful.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"671\" data-end=\"1282\">I like kids to coach characters sometimes: \u201cI know you want to do this, I know it\u2019s hard, but listen to your wisest self.\u201d You can do so much with creative drama, narrative pantomime, or guided imagery to help kids practice these skills safely.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1739\"><strong>That&#8217;s a great prompt. Like how would you coach this character in this moment to listen to their wisest self?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1739\">That&#8217;s in the back of the book!<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"86\" data-end=\"115\"><strong>Oh, I didn\u2019t see that! Yay. <\/strong><strong>I love that framing\u2014asking \u201cWhy is this hard for me?\u201d or \u201cWhy is this hard for you?\u201d I can\u2019t think of a better way to put it. It\u2019s so accessible, especially for kids who often just say, \u201cIt\u2019s too hard.\u201d Asking what specifically is hard for them right now, and giving examples of things that can be addressed, is such a powerful approach.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"486\" data-end=\"833\">Exactly. I struggle with so many hard things every single day, and reflecting this way helps me not show up reactive. Having that perspective is also helpful for teachers to practice self-compassion. We can ask ourselves, \u201cWhat is it in this moment that made me behave this way with my co-teacher, or with that kid who was pushing every button?\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"1010\">I think all of us just benefit from more self-awareness. For the most part, our brains are just trying to do what they can to protect us with the skills and tools available.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1870\"><strong>That\u2019s a good example about teachers losing patience with a student. You can feel guilty afterward, or rationalize it, but I love the idea of looking back and thinking, <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1870\"><em><strong>\u201cOkay, my highest, wisest self would have been patient and calm. I would have co-regulated with the student. That\u2019s what my wisest self would have done\u2014but I didn\u2019t. So why was that hard for me?\u201d <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1870\"><strong>Maybe you just got a new student that morning, or a bunch of stressful things happened, and you were at your wit\u2019s end. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1870\"><strong>Then the next step is, \u201cWhat can I do next time to help myself calm down so I don\u2019t react like that? Because it doesn\u2019t feel good to react that way\u2014and then talk to the kid about it and apologize. For example: \u201cI did not react from my wisest self. I was impatient because I was stressed about other things that had nothing to do with you. I want to do better next time.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1872\" data-end=\"2610\">Yes. That\u2019s something I\u2019ve really been working on and have learned from Dr. Ross Greene and Dr. Becky Kennedy\u2014the power of a quick, shame-free apology. Particularly with young kids, when we use an inappropriate tone, it\u2019s scary for them. They often internalize the blame, thinking it\u2019s their fault, which can be dangerous.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1872\" data-end=\"2610\">A kindergartener hearing, \u201cHey, I yelled and I\u2019m sorry about that. Counting to four wasn\u2019t your fault. I\u2019ll work on doing better next time,\u201d learns that it wasn\u2019t their fault. We model a shame-free apology and normalize it, showing kids how to take responsibility without guilt. Many teachers feel like they have to be omnipotent and can\u2019t apologize, but a quick, loving apology is one of our most powerful tools.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" style=\"background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/reel\/DRE7j37CTxz\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\">\n<div style=\"padding: 16px;\">\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\">\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\">\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\">\n<div style=\"color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\">\n<div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\">\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"margin-left: auto;\">\n<div style=\"width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\">\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;\"><a style=\"color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/reel\/DRE7j37CTxz\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by Angela Watson (@angela.watson)<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"149\" data-end=\"927\"><strong>Yeah. And maybe this is a good mental shift for someone listening to this who has felt that way and felt like,&#8221; I can&#8217;t apologize because I&#8217;m going to lose credibility with students. And no matter how many times people tell me, &#8220;No, it gives you more credibility, I just don&#8217;t feel that way.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"149\" data-end=\"927\"><strong>If you are talking about what happened in your brain and your body, if you talk about what&#8217;s going on in your nervous system, your thought process\u2014then you become a relatable human. And it&#8217;s not so much like, \u201cOh, I&#8217;m the teacher who could just fly off the handle at any time.\u201d No, I&#8217;m a teacher who, when I get overwhelmed, when there&#8217;s too many things happening at once, I get frazzled and I snap. That&#8217;s one of my things that I am working to do better at. And you can know that about me.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"929\" data-end=\"1760\"><strong>One of the things that really overstimulates me\u2014this is a real example\u2014is people calling my name over and over and over again. I just hate that. I taught elementary, so I had that happen a lot. And I told the kids that, back then, I didn&#8217;t have all of this language I have now to understand what was going on. But I told the kids, &#8220;When a lot of you are trying to get my attention at one time, I get overwhelmed because I want to help everybody, and there&#8217;s not enough of me to go around. So if you can raise your hand and wait until I get to you, it helps me be more calm when I get to you, because I don\u2019t feel like there&#8217;s all these people waiting on me. I don\u2019t have to rush, and I don\u2019t get as upset.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1762\" data-end=\"2226\"><strong>Just saying that periodically\u2014say it at the beginning of the year, say it again a month or two later\u2014reminds them: \u201cHey, I\u2019m feeling a little overwhelmed today because so many people need my help. If you can wait, that will help me stay calm.\u201d Then they have that same language too, because they also feel under pressure. If there\u2019s a timed test, they know what it feels like to be rushed. They can say, \u201cThe timer is stressing me out,\u201d and use that same language.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2810\"><strong>I think it\u2019s okay\u2014and I\u2019d like to hear your thoughts on this too\u2014but I think it\u2019s okay for teachers not only to be vulnerable with students and model this, but also to ask for student support. Often, we\u2019re taught to center only the needs of the kids, and we forget that teachers are human, too. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2810\"><strong>Teaching requires much emotional labor, and making that visible for students\u2014being like, \u201cThis is really hard to keep all of this running and stay calm with everybody. Here\u2019s what you can do to help me show up as the best version of myself. I want to do things to help you show up as the best version of yourself, too\u201d\u2014is powerful. &#8220;<\/strong><strong>So you tell me what you need. Here\u2019s what I need. How can we work together? That\u2019s the basis of a friendship, of a marriage, of a parent\/child relationship.&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2953\" data-end=\"3737\">It\u2019s like, by positively and in a regulated way navigating your own humanity, you are teaching them to navigate their own humanity. If you pretend that you don\u2019t have humanity because you\u2019re just a perfect, calm angel, Mary Poppins type, that doesn\u2019t help them navigate their own humanity.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"2953\" data-end=\"3737\">One thing about this. No one can hear it\u2014and it\u2019s not effective\u2014if it\u2019s done reactively in a dysregulated way. I never got over the magic of a preview. If you get overwhelmed when everyone\u2019s calling your name, saying beforehand, \u201cDid you notice yesterday I got a little frustrated? I did too. I\u2019ve learned we\u2019ve all been talking about our hard things. My hard thing is staying calm when people are calling my name. I\u2019m going to rely on this strategy today. Do you have any ideas for how you can help me with this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"3739\" data-end=\"3895\">I remember once a kid said something like, \u201cOh, I had another teacher who wore a hat. When she wore the hat, people couldn\u2019t walk up to her at that time.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"3897\" data-end=\"4388\">If it\u2019s introduced almost like before the problem starts, kids don\u2019t feel blamed, and they\u2019re much more willing to collaborate and help solve the problem, even if you\u2019re reflecting on something that happened yesterday. Whereas saying it in the moment\u2014\u201cHey, remember this\u201d\u2014no one can hear it during dysregulation. There\u2019s just something about the magic of a preview that helps everybody know what to do to make good choices, instead of feeling like you have to reactively fix what\u2019s broken.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"4390\" data-end=\"4630\"><strong>\u00a0I want to close this out with the takeaway truth. What is something you wish every educator understood about the power of their words shaping the environment around them and their relationship with themselves?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4632\" data-end=\"5174\">I might end with somebody else\u2019s words. Many people love the book <em data-start=\"4698\" data-end=\"4727\">All the Light We Cannot See<\/em>. I remember one of the final sentences\u2014it\u2019s something like \u201cthe air a library and the record of every life lived, every sentence spoken, every word transmitted still reverberating within it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"4632\" data-end=\"5174\">I think the truth I want to leave with teachers is this: we offer language out loud, and maybe, like with my son, it seems like it bounces off the kids. Maybe you see it appear that year, maybe you don\u2019t. But holding onto the faith that just because you can\u2019t measure it, doesn\u2019t mean it won\u2019t trigger a fundamental, beautiful shift.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5176\" data-end=\"5478\">If you introduce the idea of a wisest self to an eight-year-old, twenty years later that 28-year-old may be in a difficult situation and think, \u201cOkay, there is a part of me that wants to do this, but I am going to listen to my wisest, truest part and do the right but hard thing when nobody else is.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5480\" data-end=\"6018\">I love the idea of a \u201cbirder mindset\u201d\u2014looking for beauty, noticing flashes of joy. Introduce that to a 10-year-old, and maybe years later they think, \u201cI\u2019m going to turn on my birder mindset and try to find one thing that makes me laugh today,\u201d and their experience improves.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"5480\" data-end=\"6018\">Or introduce the idea, \u201cKids do well if they can,\u201d and years later that child is a parent, their toddler is driving them insane, and they remember, \u201cIf she could do well, she would do well,\u201d and they meet that moment with connection and grace, instead of shame.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"6020\" data-end=\"6446\">The teacher who introduced those words isn\u2019t physically there for those moments, but in a way, they are\u2014the teacher\u2019s contribution crosses space and time. Teachers, remember: just because you can\u2019t see it, doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not doing beautiful things. You offer the words and then let go, but they may etch grooves through which lovely thoughts and actions transpire.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p data-start=\"6448\" data-end=\"6468\"><strong>Yeah, I love that. <\/strong><strong>It\u2019s a return to how teaching is about creating the world you want to see. So often we think we\u2019re not doing it, especially within a system with so many constraints. Coming back to the power of our language with kids\u2014it really has a reverberating effect through the whole planet. It really does, because we\u2019re all interconnected.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-start=\"6803\" data-end=\"6975\">Oh, what a beautiful place to end. I can\u2019t tell you how much I\u2019ve enjoyed this conversation. Thank you so much for having me on. I\u2019ve learned so much from you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cGiving kids, and yourself, language to wrap around the idea that we have an inner leader (our kindest, best self) is transformative.\u201d Join me as I talk with Lily Howard Scott, a NYC-based parent, educator, and author, who shares insights from her book The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language. We\u2019re &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/how-teacher-language-shapes-us-and-helps-kids-find-their-wisest-self\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":153273,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-153087","podcasts","type-podcasts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindset-motivation","category-truth-for-teachers-podcast"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Truth For Teachers | How teacher language shapes us\u2014and teaches kids to find their wisest self<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/how-teacher-language-shapes-us-and-helps-kids-find-their-wisest-self\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Truth For Teachers | How teacher language shapes us\u2014and teaches kids to find their wisest self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cGiving kids, and yourself, language to wrap around the idea that we have an inner leader (our kindest, best self) is transformative.\u201d Join me as I talk with Lily Howard Scott, a NYC-based parent, educator, and author, who shares insights from her book The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language. 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