{"id":2018,"date":"2016-02-14T12:00:57","date_gmt":"2016-02-14T12:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecornerstone.wpengine.com\/?post_type=podcasts&#038;p=2018"},"modified":"2024-08-13T02:13:49","modified_gmt":"2024-08-13T07:13:49","slug":"let-go-expectations-around-testing-feels-less-stressful","status":"publish","type":"podcasts","link":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/let-go-expectations-around-testing-feels-less-stressful\/","title":{"rendered":"How to let go of expectations around testing so it feels less stressful"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week I\u2019m addressing a question submitted by a teacher named\u00a0Anna. She writes:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Hi, Angela, in your book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/books\/awakened\">Awakened<\/a>, you mention how often our expectations steal the joy from teaching. Thoughts like \u201cthey\u2019re supposed to do or know that already\u201d can keep us stuck. This was a life-changing realization for me and really eye-opening. However, I\u2019m still having a hard time letting go of my expectations when it comes to testing.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, you teach students, you prepare them for tests and exams \u2014 *of course* you have some expectations around their performance, and begin to feel frustrated when they keep making the same mistakes over and over again. You may start questioning the purpose and the quality of your work: even though testing is not the end all be all, but still, it\u2019s an indicator of students\u2019 progress, and a teacher is there to help them improve their test results.<strong>\u00a0So my question is, how can I let go of expectations around testing and results?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-148938 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/How-to-let-go-of-expectations-around-testing-so-it-feels-less-stressful-333x500.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/How-to-let-go-of-expectations-around-testing-so-it-feels-less-stressful-333x500.png 333w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/How-to-let-go-of-expectations-around-testing-so-it-feels-less-stressful-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/How-to-let-go-of-expectations-around-testing-so-it-feels-less-stressful-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/How-to-let-go-of-expectations-around-testing-so-it-feels-less-stressful.png 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>My husband &#8212; who was my fiancee back in my final years in the classroom &#8212; used to just dread the day those scores came back because he knew I\u2019d be an emotional wreck. I think I cried every year when I got my third graders\u2019 standardized test results back because whoever didn\u2019t pass was going to be automatically retained.<\/p>\n<p>That was a tremendous burden for any teacher to bear, to know that children were going to have to spend an extra year of their lives in the K-12 school system taking more multiple choice tests and having the love of learning just wrung right out of them, in part because of things that I did and didn\u2019t do as a teacher.\u00a0<strong>This guilt is one of the greatest stressors teachers feel, and whether they\u2019re talking about it publicly or not, it\u2019s very real.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, I can\u2019t give you any magic solutions that will remove that burden of responsibility altogether and somehow not make it sting when your students fail assessments. Not to be overly dramatic, but that\u2019s kind of like promising I can make it not hurt when someone you love is seriously hurt. There\u2019s going to be emotional trauma, guilt, and desperation.\u00a0<em>The only thing I can offer you is some mindset shifts that can lessen the burden a little bit.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>I\u2019m not going to lie. This was truly one of the hardest things for me to deal with as a teacher and I never quite got a handle on it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Want to listen instead of read?<\/strong><\/h3>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Listen to season 3 episode 7 below,<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>or subscribe in your podcast app.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/4118998\/height\/90\/width\/500\/theme\/custom\/autonext\/no\/thumbnail\/yes\/autoplay\/no\/preload\/no\/no_addthis\/no\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/672c5b\/\" width=\"500\" height=\"90\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<p><center><\/center><br \/>\n<strong><em>This post is based on the latest episode of my weekly podcast,\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers\"><em>Angela Watson\u2019s Truth for Teachers<\/em><\/a><em>. A podcast is like a free talk radio show you can listen to online, or download and take with you wherever you go. I release a new 10-15 minute episode each Sunday and feature it here on the blog to help you get energized and motivated for the week ahead.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now let me elaborate a bit on what Anna referenced from my book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/books\/awakened\">Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching<\/a>. The goal is to let go of unrealistic expectations and the rigid determination that we must\u00a0have a certain outcome. That does not mean that we don\u2019t have any expectations at all for students. Having expectations is a good thing. We train kids to follow rules and procedures and expect them to behave properly. We teach them and expect them to learn something. Those are reasonable norms.\u00a0<strong>The only time our expectations create a problem is when we refuse to accept any other outcome.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We have to be open to every possibility. Expect students to meet learning goals but when they don\u2019t, accept it and deal with it.\u00a0<strong>Don\u2019t cling to your expectations and repeat them over and over in your mind:\u00a0<\/strong><em>They SHOULD be working harder! They HAVE TO master this right now, this very week! They\u2019re SUPPOSED TO care about their education and pay attention! They\u2019re SUPPOSED TO BE making progress at a much faster rate than this!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Holding on to your expectations &#8212; your pre-conceived notion of how things \u201cshould be\u201d and how students are \u201csupposed to score\u201d on tests &#8212; creates fearfulness.<\/strong>\u00a0It causes you to live in a constant state of low-grade anxiety as you worry about whether all these expectations will be met. Thinking so much about what you want to happen causes you to identify too closely with the anticipated outcome; you can\u2019t let it go because it is a part of you.<\/p>\n<p><em>Any other outcome becomes an attack on your beliefs about how students should learn and who you are as a teacher. \u00a0<\/em>The ultimate result is that you lose the ability to accept any reality except the actualization of what you expected.<strong>\u00a0Rather than a failed test being a disappointing setback, it becomes a tragedy that puts you in a terrible mood for the rest of the day or week.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/opportunities-charles-swindoll-500x500.jpg\" alt=\"opportunities-charles-swindoll-500x500\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/opportunities-charles-swindoll-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/opportunities-charles-swindoll-500x500-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/opportunities-charles-swindoll-500x500-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to examine your expectations and determine whether they serve you or weigh you down.\u00a0<strong>If a particular expectation is only creating frustration and bitterness, you CANNOT hold on to it.<\/strong>\u00a0Let go of your personal demands on the moment. Look forward to the future with optimism, but avoid having any specific expectations.<\/p>\n<p>When you get up in the morning, tell yourself that you\u2019re going to have a good day. You\u2019re going to choose to be positive and productive and keep doing your best regardless of what effort your students put in or how well they master learning goals.\u00a0<strong>Focus your anticipation on the things that are completely within your control, such as your attitude and behavior.\u00a0<\/strong>Don\u2019t run down a list of the outcomes you expect from students and their performance.<\/p>\n<p>Then, when a few kids don\u2019t pass a benchmark test, dismiss thoughts like,\u00a0<em>Here we go again, this test is impossible &#8212; it\u2019s way too hard, and these kids are so far behind they\u2019ll never catch up.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Instead, the instant you realize things are not happening according to your expectations, resist the urge to compare reality to your expectations. Tell yourself:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>This is not the outcome I expected, but it\u2019s alright. I\u2019m not going to waste time thinking about what I wanted to happen, and instead, I\u2019m going to focus on moving forward.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>You want to reframe the situation so you don\u2019t wallow in the setback.<\/strong>\u00a0Get yourself right back on track mentally:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>This was one test. I\u2019m going to stay calm and not let students\u2019 scores determine my attitude. I\u2019m not going to allow a few kids who didn\u2019t pass to upset me so much that I don\u2019t have the patience and energy to keep giving my all with this class. The day is not ruined. Life is not over. I\u2019m moving on to the next learning task and I\u2019m ready for whatever comes next.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2021 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/focus-on-the-process-500x500.jpg\" alt=\"focus-on-the-process-500x500\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/focus-on-the-process-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/focus-on-the-process-500x500-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/focus-on-the-process-500x500-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You see, this is ultimately about replacing our unrealistic expectations with more accurate ones. The goal is to think rationally.\u00a0<strong>Rational thoughts line up with what you experience in the world. Irrational thoughts are based on what you believe the world\u00a0<em>should<\/em>\u00a0be like<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Frustration occurs when you attempt to make reality conform to your beliefs about it. Since it\u2019s impossible to make everything and everyone conform to your standards, attempting to do so invites negative emotions. It\u2019s far easier to change your standards than to change the way everyone around you meets them.<\/p>\n<p>We know that our school systems are placing irrational, unrealistic demands on teachers and kids.\u00a0<strong>It is not rational to expect 100% of students to pass every single exam we give them.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s not happening,\u00a0<em>ever<\/em>. Anywhere on the planet.<\/p>\n<p>They make that the goal and put pressure on you and the kids to make it happen because it sounds terrible to say, \u201cLet\u2019s just try to get 75% of the kids reading at, hmm, let\u2019s say, no more than one year below grade level.\u201d In some communities, even THAT would be a\u00a0stretch. Districts don\u2019t want to look like they have low expectations for students. They have to set the bar high.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2020 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/value-yourself-quote-500x500.jpg\" alt=\"value-yourself-quote-500x500\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/value-yourself-quote-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/value-yourself-quote-500x500-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/value-yourself-quote-500x500-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>But you cannot internalize that expectation and allow your mood and sense of accomplishment to ride on it.<\/strong>\u00a0You cannot.<\/p>\n<p>You have to define success, value, and worth for yourself, regardless of how your students test. Go back to Season 1 episode 13 of the podcast\u2013it\u2019s called\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/2015\/03\/how-to-be-unshakeable-in-your-enthusiasm-for-teaching.html\">How to Be Unshakeable in Your Enthusiasm for Teaching<\/a>. In that episode, I talked about how to create your own vision for your teaching and summarized the chapter about it in my book\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/books\/unshakeable\">Unshakeable: 20 Ways to Enjoy Teaching Every Day\u2026 No Matter What<\/a>. You have to focus on YOUR vision.\u00a0<strong>Do not internalize these irrational, unrealistic expectations and assume there is something wrong with you and your students if everyone\u2019s not meeting them.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s get a really big picture with this. Ask yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Why do I assume that not getting all kids to master all standards at the same time means there\u2019s a problem with my students\u2026or with me?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Who says that if a student can\u2019t master a skill by a certain month that something is developmentally wrong or that I\u2019m not doing my job well?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>What expert mandated that all children must identify 10 letter sounds by the 6th month of their 5th year of life, or master place value to the one millions by age 10?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>If schools didn\u2019t group students by age, would I worry so much about learning disabilities and students falling behind?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>What does it even mean to be \u201cbehind\u201d?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Is it possible that a child isn\u2019t delayed or behind or below grade level, and maybe the truth is that they\u2019re just not mastering artificial benchmarks determined by this committee of people at this place in the world at this point in history?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Would this student have been labeled as \u201cnot meeting expectations\u201d 20 years ago? Or even now in a different country?<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>Would any of this even have been an issue if our school systems weren\u2019t designed the way they are?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Think about these questions when you start getting really myopic and hyper-focused on a single test score.<\/strong>\u00a0And most importantly, ask yourself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Could it be possible for me to stop obsessing over these artificial benchmarks and support each student in growing and developing at his or her own individual pace?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2019 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/feelings-are-like-waves-jonatan-martenson-500x500.jpg\" alt=\"feelings-are-like-waves-jonatan-martenson-500x500\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/feelings-are-like-waves-jonatan-martenson-500x500.jpg 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/feelings-are-like-waves-jonatan-martenson-500x500-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/feelings-are-like-waves-jonatan-martenson-500x500-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>I don\u2019t mean you should do this in practice<\/strong>\u2013that you would throw your grade level standards out the window and let kids learn through play and their own interests, and master developmental markers whenever they\u2019re ready. That\u2019s a lot like\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Unschooling\">unschooling<\/a>, and some people do teach that way, but it\u2019s not something the average educator\u00a0can just up and do without permission.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I\u2019m advising you to do this\u00a0<em>mentally\u00a0<\/em>\u2013 to stop obsessing over the artificial benchmarks and instead support each student in growing and developing at his or her own individual pace.\u00a0<\/strong>I mean\u00a0<em>in your mind<\/em>, stop internalizing unrealistic standards and start looking at the big picture.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Reframe the situation in a more rational, fully accurate, big-picture way so that it feels less stressful.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Reframe the thought that\u00a0<em>\u201cI MUST get all my kids to pass the standardized tests. I can\u2019t\u00a0handle knowing that any of them failed!\u201d<\/em>\u00a0with this perspective:\u00a0<em>\u201cI would like for all my kids to pass the standardized tests and I\u2019ll keep working toward that, but I cannot control that outcome. It would be disappointing if some of them didn\u2019t meet proficiency, but it doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m a failure or that they didn\u2019t learn anything in my class.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Keep holding those high expectations for students, but don\u2019t allow artificial benchmarks to determine your value as a teacher.<\/strong>\u00a0Don\u2019t let them determine your mood. Don\u2019t let them steal your motivation. You are working miracles with those kids every single day in the classroom. And in your sense of self-worth,\u00a0<em>that has to be enough.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<form class=\"general-form-styles\" action=\"https:\/\/www.getdrip.com\/forms\/621946946\/submissions\" method=\"post\" data-drip-embedded-form=\"621946946\">\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\" data-drip-attribute=\"headline\">Want a printable version of this post to share?<\/h3>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\" data-drip-attribute=\"description\">Enter your email address below to access it in PDF form.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><label for=\"drip-email\"><\/label><br \/>\n<input id=\"drip-email\" name=\"fields[email]\" type=\"email\" value=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><input name=\"submit\" type=\"submit\" value=\"SEND IT NOW\" data-drip-attribute=\"sign-up-button\" \/><\/div>\n<\/form>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week I\u2019m addressing a question submitted by a teacher named\u00a0Anna. She writes: Hi, Angela, in your book\u00a0Awakened, you mention how often our expectations steal the joy from teaching. Thoughts like \u201cthey\u2019re supposed to do or know that already\u201d can keep us stuck. This was a life-changing realization for me and really eye-opening. However, I\u2019m &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/let-go-expectations-around-testing-feels-less-stressful\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":147693,"menu_order":200,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2018","podcasts","type-podcasts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindset-motivation","category-truth-for-teachers-podcast"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Truth For Teachers | How to let go of expectations around testing so it feels less stressful<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/let-go-expectations-around-testing-feels-less-stressful\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Truth For Teachers | How to let go of expectations around testing so it feels less stressful\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week I\u2019m addressing a question submitted by a teacher named\u00a0Anna. She writes: Hi, Angela, in your book\u00a0Awakened, you mention how often our expectations steal the joy from teaching. Thoughts like \u201cthey\u2019re supposed to do or know that already\u201d can keep us stuck. This was a life-changing realization for me and really eye-opening. 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