{"id":2483,"date":"2015-03-08T12:00:12","date_gmt":"2015-03-08T12:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecornerstone.wpengine.com\/?post_type=podcasts&#038;p=2483"},"modified":"2024-08-13T02:33:21","modified_gmt":"2024-08-13T07:33:21","slug":"cope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like","status":"publish","type":"podcasts","link":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/cope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like\/","title":{"rendered":"How to cope when a student\u2019s parent just doesn\u2019t like you"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Are you feeling discouraged by a parent who seems impossible to please? You can develop a realistic, productive outlook on relationships with students\u2019 parents. Learn how to maintain a professional and positive attitude and keep criticism from stealing your motivation.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This post is based on the latest episode of my weekly podcast,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/podcast-2\">Angela Watson\u2019s Truth for Teachers<\/a>. A podcast is essentially a talk radio show that you can listen to online or download and take with you wherever you go. I release a new episode each Sunday and feature it here on the blog to help you get energized and motivated for the week ahead.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/2015\/01\/truth-for-teachers-a-new-podcast-for-weekly-inspiration.html\">Learn more<\/a>\u00a0about the podcast, view\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/category\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\">blog posts for all past episodes<\/a>, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers\/id954139712\">subscribe in iTunes\u00a0<\/a>to get new episodes right away.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Want to listen instead of read?<\/strong><\/h3>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Listen to episode 12 below,<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>or subscribe in your podcast app.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/3399878\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/autoplay\/no\/autonext\/no\/thumbnail\/yes\/preload\/no\/no_addthis\/no\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/672c5b\/\" width=\"500\" height=\"90\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center><center><\/center>So this week, we\u2019re talking about how to cope when a parent of one of your students doesn\u2019t like you. Now, I\u2019m not talking about the parent who occasionally questions your teaching methodology or gives constructive feedback.\u00a0<strong>I\u2019m talking about that parent that you just can\u2019t seem to please no matter what.<\/strong>\u00a0The parent who shoots you an email on a daily basis about a problem, who finds fault in everything and is never satisfied, no matter how much you try to accommodate or compromise with them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>First off, I want you to know that this is not an unusual situation,<\/strong>\u00a0and I wish I had known that at the beginning of my teaching career. It took me many years to come to terms with the fact that\u00a0there will be some people in life that are just not going to like me or be happy with my work. Sometimes it\u2019s a personality conflict, and sometimes the person has their own issues that they\u2019re projecting onto others.<\/p>\n<p>Almost every year, I had a parent who seemed determined to find fault with my performance, and I used to find it extremely demoralizing. I would beat myself up about it, thinking if only I was a better teacher, all the parents would like me. And that is not how the world works.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Not everyone is going to like you.<\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s a completely unreasonable and unachievable goal. And I\u2019m not even sure it\u2019s one worth striving for &#8212; getting all your students\u2019 parents to respect you as a professional, yes, but getting them all to like you? Not going to happen.<\/p>\n<p>Almost every teacher has at least one parent every year who cusses them out, micromanages and constantly questions them, goes over their head to the principal about a minor issue, or disrespects them in a myriad of subtle or not-so-subtle ways.\u00a0<strong>Be mentally prepared for that and don\u2019t take it personally!<\/strong>\u00a0This happens to almost about EVERY teacher, whether or not they tell the world about it.\u00a0I promise you that.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2486 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-cope-when-a-students-parent-just-doesnt-like-you-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"How to cope when a student\u2019s parent just doesn\u2019t like you\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-cope-when-a-students-parent-just-doesnt-like-you-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-cope-when-a-students-parent-just-doesnt-like-you-300x300-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I am friends with some of the best teachers in this country &#8212; people who give 110% for their kids and parents, true innovators who care deeply and go above and beyond in every area &#8212; and I still get tearful voicemail and Voxer messages from them after they\u2019ve gotten a nasty parent email or were called into the principal\u2019s office because a parent criticized them publicly for a tiny misunderstanding. This happens. Whenever you are dealing with other people, there are going to be miscommunications and not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye.\u00a0<strong>It happens in every profession, in every social situation, and in every family.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>So, don\u2019t let these situations surprise you or throw you off your game. For the most part, it\u2019s normal. Now, if you seem to be getting more than your fair share of complaints every school year, then it\u2019s time to take a look at that, and get a colleague you trust to give you some honest feedback about why relationships with parents have been so tough for you and how you can improve. This is especially important if you\u2019re getting the same complaints from multiple parents across multiple years &#8212;\u00a0<strong>that\u2019s<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>a sign that you may need to either change something<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>you\u2019re doing, or change the way you\u2019re communicating it to other people so they have a better understanding up front of what you\u2019re doing and why.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>However, for our purposes here in this episode about mentally coping with parents who don\u2019t like you, I want to drive home the importance of accepting the fact that some parents are never going to be your fans so that you don\u2019t get so discouraged that you stop trying to build a rapport with everyone else.\u00a0<strong>Don\u2019t punish all the other parents because one or two of them are impossible to please.<\/strong>\u00a0You must choose not to let a handful of parents steal your joy and enthusiasm for teaching because there are many other families depending on you.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2485 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior.jpg\" alt=\"no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior\" width=\"236\" height=\"330\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior.jpg 236w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior-215x300.jpg 215w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Giving up on parent outreach because one or two parents are overly critical is like giving up on a lesson because one or two students are being disrespectful.\u00a0<strong>You\u2019ve got to keep your focus on the people who are appreciative of what you\u2019re doing.<\/strong>\u00a0Train yourself to notice and celebrate the kids and parents who are cooperative. Keep those thank-you notes and compliments running through your mind when you get discouraged. Remind yourself,\u00a0<em>I am making a difference.<\/em>\u00a0<em>My efforts are important, and they are appreciated by many people whether they express that to me on a daily basis or not.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t make a conscious effort to focus on the positive interactions and accomplishments, you will become discouraged and bitter. And that is going to show through in your tone and body language when you\u2019re talking with that parent.<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever tried to approach someone with a perfectly innocent question and before you can even get your thought out, you see they\u2019re giving you a crazy attitude? Arms crossed, defensive posture, raised eyebrows \u2026 and you can just tell from the tone of their voice that they are already mentally and emotionally shut down, completely unreceptive to whatever you\u2019re going to say?<\/p>\n<p>You can easily become\u00a0<em>that person<\/em>\u00a0after a string of negative interactions with a parent. We lie awake at night replaying the conversations over and over in our head and rehearsing all these things we wish we\u2019d said and we\u2019re determined to say next time. We tell the story about the conflict to all our friends, family members, and colleagues.\u00a0<strong>We dwell on the negative interactions so much that all our future interactions with that parent are colored by it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s almost impossible to be receptive or even neutral to the parent after constantly thinking and talking about all the ways she or he has made your life miserable.\u00a0<strong>You can never rebuild the relationship as long as you\u2019re harboring a negative, defensive attitude,<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>and the parent is only going to find MORE fault with what you do.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2484 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/compliments.jpg\" alt=\"compliments\" width=\"600\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/compliments.jpg 600w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/compliments-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m speaking from experience here.\u00a0<strong>Don\u2019t let that root of bitterness form in your mind, my friend, because\u00a0<em>you\u2019re<\/em>\u00a0the one who\u2019s going to suffer.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s your motivation level that\u2019s going to crash. Don\u2019t do that to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Tell yourself,\u00a0<em>I am not going to mentally replay that conversation over and over in my head. It\u2019s in the past and I\u2019m moving forward. I am choosing to start each day fresh.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Use that train of thought as a motivator so you have the energy to keep reaching out to your most challenging parents.<\/strong>\u00a0You don\u2019t give up on your students, and you can\u2019t give up on their parents, either. You are the professional, you are capable of taking the high road even when they don\u2019t, and even though it\u2019s hard in the moment, you will feel so much better afterward when you don\u2019t allow yourself to be dragged down by reacting to someone else\u2019s issues.<\/p>\n<p>You always want to look back at the end of the school year and know that you truly gave your all, and feel confident that any rifts in the relationship did not stem from a lack of effort on your part. Keep doing everything in your power to make all your students\u2019 parents feel like an integral part of their kids\u2019 learning process.<\/p>\n<p>Stop replaying the negative interactions and stay focused on the parents who are appreciative. Recognize that conflicts with parents are very normal, and it\u2019s okay if a parent doesn\u2019t like you. Make it your goal to earn the RESPECT of all your students\u2019 parents, and you do that by acting respectfully and with dignity. Take care of yourself. Don\u2019t sacrifice your health and sanity over a parent you will probably never have to deal with again once summer comes.\u00a0<strong>Be kind to unkind people &#8212; they need it the most.<\/strong><\/p>\n<span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/x.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftruthforteachers.com%2Ftruth-for-teachers-podcast%2Fcope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like%2F&#038;text=Life%20becomes%20easier%20when%20you%20learn%20to%20accept%20an%20apology%20you%20never%20got.--Robert%20Brault&#038;related' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.--Robert Brault <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/x.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftruthforteachers.com%2Ftruth-for-teachers-podcast%2Fcope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like%2F&#038;text=Life%20becomes%20easier%20when%20you%20learn%20to%20accept%20an%20apology%20you%20never%20got.--Robert%20Brault&#038;related' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n<p>Please\u00a0feel free to leave your thoughts and experiences in the comments. I\u2019d love to hear from you!<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers\/id954139712\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-2318 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-300x300.png\" alt=\"tft-podcast-icon2\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-1536x1536.png 1536w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1.png 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>See blog posts\/transcripts for all episodes<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers\/id954139712\">Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers?refid=stpr\">Subscribe to the podcast in Stitcher<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you feeling discouraged by a parent who seems impossible to please? You can develop a realistic, productive outlook on relationships with students\u2019 parents. Learn how to maintain a professional and positive attitude and keep criticism from stealing your motivation. This post is based on the latest episode of my weekly podcast,\u00a0Angela Watson\u2019s Truth for &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/cope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2486,"menu_order":233,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2483","podcasts","type-podcasts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindset-motivation","category-truth-for-teachers-podcast"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Truth For Teachers | How to cope when a student\u2019s parent just doesn\u2019t like you<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/cope-students-parent-just-doesnt-like\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Truth For Teachers | How to cope when a student\u2019s parent just doesn\u2019t like you\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you feeling discouraged by a parent who seems impossible to please? 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