{"id":2535,"date":"2015-01-26T22:33:20","date_gmt":"2015-01-26T22:33:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecornerstone.wpengine.com\/?post_type=podcasts&#038;p=2535"},"modified":"2024-08-13T02:35:20","modified_gmt":"2024-08-13T07:35:20","slug":"stop-overly-critical-teacher","status":"publish","type":"podcasts","link":"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/stop-overly-critical-teacher\/","title":{"rendered":"How to stop being overly critical of yourself as a teacher"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Many teachers are far too hard on themselves and constantly feel guilty about things they\u2019re not doing. You can make 3 small changes that will create a dramatic shift in how you think and feel about yourself. Learn how to change your mindset and move from self-criticism to self-acceptance.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>This post is based on the\u00a0latest episode of my weekly podcast,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/podcast-2\">Angela Watson\u2019s Truth for Teachers<\/a>. A podcast is essentially a talk radio show that you can listen to online or download and take with you wherever you go. I release a new episode each Sunday and feature it here on the blog to help you get energized and motivated for the week ahead.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/2015\/01\/truth-for-teachers-a-new-podcast-for-weekly-inspiration.html\">Learn more<\/a>\u00a0about the podcast, view\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/category\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\">blog posts for all\u00a0past episodes<\/a>, or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers\/id954139712\">subscribe in iTunes<\/a>\u00a0to get new episodes right away.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Want to listen instead of read?<\/strong><\/h3>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Listen to episode 6 below,<br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>or subscribe in your podcast app.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><center><\/center><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/3303052\/height\/90\/width\/500\/theme\/custom\/autonext\/no\/thumbnail\/yes\/autoplay\/no\/preload\/no\/no_addthis\/no\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/672c5b\/\" width=\"500\" height=\"90\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Being\u00a0overly critical of yourself is a problem that a lot of teachers struggle with for a number of reasons. For one thing, teaching is an important job. When we make mistakes or fall short, those errors have the potential to impact children\u2019s lives in a negative way. That\u2019s a huge burden to carry.<\/p>\n<p>On top of that, many teachers are by nature perfectionists. We want things done right, we have high standards for ourselves, and we tend to get mad at ourselves when we don\u2019t meet those standards.<\/p>\n<p>And so we get trapped in this cycle of falling short of our expectations (or other people\u2019s expectations) and beating ourselves up about it. In order to understand how to break free from that cycle, it\u2019s important to understand a little bit about what I call \u201cself-talk\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Every single one of us has an ongoing internal monologue or conversation playing in our minds. This self-talk typically involves a running commentary on what\u2019s happening around us. Most of us identify with our self-talk and assume we\u2019re repeating truth to ourselves. However, this commentary is totally biased and rarely accurate because self-talk is colored by our mindset.<\/p>\n<p>Self-talk includes lots of automatic thoughts that we\u2019ve reinforced over the years by paying attention to them and attaching importance. The automatic thoughts pop up without us consciously thinking or even noticing them. When faced with a challenge, your automatic self-talk might be, \u201cI can\u2019t do this\u201d or \u201cThere\u2019s no way I\u2019ll be able to get this done\u201d. \u00a0When someone provides constructive feedback, your self-talk might include the thoughts, \u201cS\/he doesn\u2019t like me\u201d, \u201cS\/he thinks I did a horrible job\u201d, \u201cI\u2019m so bad at this!\u201d\u00a0<em>Thoughts like these might enter your mind on such a regular basis that you have no idea they\u2019re occurring.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Your automatic self-talk is a fundamental part of how you think and feel.<\/strong>\u00a0In part, that\u2019s because we grant more credence to our own thoughts than to those of others. If someone shares a crazy opinion, it\u2019s usually not hard to disagree with them. We\u2019ve trained ourselves to think critically about other people\u2019s ideas. But if that opinion comes from our own automatic thoughts, most of us tend not to question it. It\u2019s difficult to critique and analyze our own thoughts because our reality is shaped by the way we think. So instead of being objective, we simply accept whatever we think as truth.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not hard to imagine what would happen to your self-esteem if someone was following you around 24 hours a day, pointing out everything you\u2019ve done wrong and why your life is never going to get any better. Yet that\u2019s exactly what happens to some of us\u2014we become our own worst critics.<\/p>\n<p>This issue is compounded by the fact that most of the feedback we hear about our performance on any given day comes from our own thoughts. We tell ourselves, \u201c That was dumb\u201d, \u00a0\u201cWhy\u2019d you do it that way?\u201d, \u201c You should do it like this next time.\u201d Many of us say things to ourselves that we would NEVER say to another person: \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m such an idiot\u201d, \u201c I\u2019m fat\u201d, \u00a0\u201cI have no self-control\u201d, \u201cI\u2019m so stupid sometimes\u201d, \u201cI\u2019m a bad teacher.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you repeat that type of self-talk, it quickly becomes ingrained in your thinking patterns. Self-doubting thoughts become a part of your belief system. So if you want to stop being overly critical of yourself, you have to learn to address negative thought patterns in your mind.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s a small change you can make in the way you think and talk about yourself, and this small change can make a big difference. Replace extreme language with more accurate terms.<\/strong>\u00a0Words like\u00a0<em>never, always, horrible, awful, worst, impossible, hate , unbearable,<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0and\u00a0<em>unbelievable<\/em>\u00a0are usually exaggerations that cause you to view yourself in a worse light than necessary.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2536 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-stop-being-overly-critical-of-yourself-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"How to stop being overly critical of yourself as a teacher\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-stop-being-overly-critical-of-yourself-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/How-to-stop-being-overly-critical-of-yourself-300x300-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Instead, choose words that aren\u2019t so dramatic and final, such as\u00a0<em>rarely, usually, challenging, difficult, tough, dislike,<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0<em>surprising<\/em>. \u00a0An internal monologue that says, \u201cI hate when I mismanage my time\u2014I can\u2019t believe I wasted the whole afternoon again and got nothing done!\u201d is more likely to create feelings of stress than, \u201cI\u2019m disappointed that I didn\u2019t use my time as well as I would have liked, but I did get some things done online that I\u2019d planned to do. The day wasn\u2019t a total waste and I\u2019ll get a fresh start tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>If you pay close attention to your word choice, you\u2019ll notice how influential it is on how you feel and what you think later on.<\/strong>\u00a0Rephrasing your thoughts in a way that\u2019s more rational will keep you from getting so worked up and prevent your thoughts and emotions from spiraling out of control. It will also give you a sense of control and empower you to change the situation. If you think something you did is really awful, you\u2019ll probably waste a lot of time thinking about how awful it is rather than expending your energy on problem solving. \u00a0Repeatedly thinking about how bad things are can cause you to become convinced that you\u2019re a hopeless case. So choosing less extreme language reminds you that the situation is not impossible and you can get better.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Another technique is to turn negative statements about yourself into a question and call to action.<\/strong>\u00a0Instead of stating dysfunctional thoughts as facts (<em>I always do this wrong\u2014I can never get it right<\/em>), \u00a0try asking yourself questions that lead to improvement (<em>What can I do to help myself improve in this area? Is there another approach I can try?<\/em>).<\/p>\n<p>Use pervasive negative thoughts as inspiration for change:\u00a0<em>Wow, I just keep thinking about how hard it is for me to get the kids to pay attention during instruction. Instead of telling myself how bad I am at classroom management, what can I do to become better? Is there something I can read or someone I can talk with to learn new strategies?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>A third and final way to stop being so critical of yourself is to practice not undermining yourself in front of others.<\/strong>\u00a0This is especially important in a professional setting because broadcasting your flaws can damage credibility. Most of your colleagues have never actually gone into your classroom and seen you teach; the main way they determine whether you\u2019re effective or not is based on appearances\u2014your class\u2019 behavior in the hallway, the bulletin boards outside your door, and the way you present yourself.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s no reason to announce loudly at a staff meeting, \u201cI can\u2019t control these kids; they just don\u2019t listen to me,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m so disorganized\u2014I can\u2019t find the paperwork I was supposed to turn in.\u201d Speaking negatively about your faults causes others to see those flaws more clearly and predisposes people to view you in a negative light.<\/p>\n<p>More importantly, you should avoid talking bad about yourself because it poisons your own mind with negativity. Anytime you hear criticism\u2014from others or from yourself\u2014it has the potential to be extremely disheartening and lead to more negative thoughts and feelings.\u00a0<strong>You can\u2019t control whether someone else talks badly about you, but you can certainly avoid speaking disapprovingly about yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, the goal is to accept yourself without stipulation, simply because you\u2019re\u00a0<em>you<\/em>. Don\u2019t make yourself earn self-acceptance. Don\u2019t base your opinion of yourself on how you act or what you accomplish. \u00a0Your confidence can\u2019t be derived from your character or what you\u2019ve done \u2014 that\u2019s a recipe for frustration, because you won\u2019t always behave and achieve the way you want. You cannot be the person (or teacher) you\u2019d like to be 100% of the time, and if your self-image is based on your actions, those times when you fall short will cause you to feel badly about who you are. Instead, you can retrain your mind to love and accept yourself unconditionally, no matter how you act. Joyce Meyer calls this \u201clearning to separate your WHO from your DO.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d like to leave you with a motivational quote for the week ahead that I call the Takeaway Truth, but if you\u2019d like to learn more about choosing your thoughts and letting go of self-criticism, I have a wonderful resource available for you. It\u2019s a book I wrote called\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/books\/awakened\">Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching<\/a>\u00a0and in it, I delve much deeper into this topic and share all kinds of practical strategies for developing a resilient, positive mindset for teaching.<\/p>\n<p>The Takeaway Truth I want you to remember this week is from my book\u00a0<em>Awakened,<\/em>\u00a0and it\u2019s this: \u201cEach setback is a chance to develop character and improve your teaching practice. Growth is not just achieved through quiet reflection: unexpected challenges, inconveniences, and failure are often the best way to learn.\u201d<\/p>\n<span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/x.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftruthforteachers.com%2Ftruth-for-teachers-podcast%2Fstop-overly-critical-teacher%2F&#038;text=Each%20setback%20is%20a%20chance%20to%20improve%20your%20teaching%20practice.%20Failure%20is%20often%20the%20best%20way%20to%20learn.&#038;related' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Each setback is a chance to improve your teaching practice. Failure is often the best way to learn. <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/x.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftruthforteachers.com%2Ftruth-for-teachers-podcast%2Fstop-overly-critical-teacher%2F&#038;text=Each%20setback%20is%20a%20chance%20to%20improve%20your%20teaching%20practice.%20Failure%20is%20often%20the%20best%20way%20to%20learn.&#038;related' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n<p>So, don\u2019t beat yourself up about your shortcomings; view them as an opportunity to learn and grow and practice healthy mental habits. Have a great week\u2013you can do this! And remember, it\u2019s not going to be easy, it\u2019s going to be worth it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Next week: How to find and embrace your unique classroom management style<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/category\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-2318 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-300x300.png\" alt=\"tft-podcast-icon2\" width=\"146\" height=\"146\" srcset=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-500x500.png 500w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1-1536x1536.png 1536w, https:\/\/truthforteachers.nyc3.cdn.digitaloceanspaces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/TFT-Podcast-Icon2-1.png 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 146px) 100vw, 146px\" \/>See blog posts\/transcripts for all episodes<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers\/id954139712\">Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/angela-watsons-truth-for-teachers?refid=stpr\">Subscribe to the podcast in Stitcher<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<form class=\"general-form-styles\" action=\"https:\/\/www.getdrip.com\/forms\/95419871\/submissions\" method=\"post\" data-drip-embedded-form=\"95419871\">\n<h3 data-drip-attribute=\"headline\"><\/h3>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\" data-drip-attribute=\"headline\">Want a printable version of this post to share?<\/h3>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\" data-drip-attribute=\"description\">Enter your email address below to access it in PDF form.<\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><label for=\"drip-email\"><\/label><br \/>\n<input id=\"drip-email\" name=\"fields[email]\" type=\"email\" value=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><input name=\"submit\" type=\"submit\" value=\"SEND IT NOW\" data-drip-attribute=\"sign-up-button\" \/><\/div>\n<\/form>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many teachers are far too hard on themselves and constantly feel guilty about things they\u2019re not doing. You can make 3 small changes that will create a dramatic shift in how you think and feel about yourself. Learn how to change your mindset and move from self-criticism to self-acceptance. This post is based on the\u00a0latest &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/stop-overly-critical-teacher\/\">Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2536,"menu_order":239,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","categories":[10,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2535","podcasts","type-podcasts","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindset-motivation","category-truth-for-teachers-podcast"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Truth For Teachers | How to stop being overly critical of yourself as a teacher<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/truthforteachers.com\/truth-for-teachers-podcast\/stop-overly-critical-teacher\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Truth For Teachers | How to stop being overly critical of yourself as a teacher\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many teachers are far too hard on themselves and constantly feel guilty about things they\u2019re not doing. 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You can make 3 small changes that will create a dramatic shift in how you think and feel about yourself. Learn how to change your mindset and move from self-criticism to self-acceptance. 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